CD5/SD5

Well, I have 7-8 follies ranging from 5-10.  But, I'm told not to fret, it's still early.  So I go back in on Wednesday for another lookie-loo.  I hope more pop up.  It has me worried even if I'm not supposed to be.  The cyst I had is gonna be drained when they do the retrieval.  That should make things more comfortable for me.

I got some bad news today.  An online friend of mine had a heart attack and died Thursday.  I've been struggling with it all day.  She was only 34.  Has two small children.  The man came home from work and our usual greeting turned to me finally breaking down.

Talk about how unfair life is.  Some people want children so badly and struggle and fight for them.  Some may NEVER get them.  Then there are those who have a whole brood of babies they don't care about.  They do horrible things to them.  Abuse.  Abandonment.  Murder.  There are people who are wonderful parents and are taken too soon while others are left to perpetuate cycles of abuse.  At times like these I do question the motives of our higher power.  It makes faith a real struggle.  You want to scream at the powers that be, "WHY!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!  IT'S UNFAIR!! IT'S WRONG!  WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU GET TO DECIDE!!"  I can't imagine those questions will ever be answered.  Yes, I'm angry!  I'm angry at inequity and loss!  Sometimes I just want to break things!  I want THEM to hurt as badly as I do!  If they did maybe THEY would reconsider THEIR actions.

I could try to go out on a positive note, tell you to hug your loved ones, do all the things you keep putting off, blah, blah blah.  But I'm not feeling it.  Truthfully, all I really want to do is crawl into bed, stay there and weep.

Dawn, my girl.  Too soon, babe.  Too soon.  You so weren't done yet!    I miss you already.  I guess instead of being a mentor, you can now go and provide Spiritus ("the divine breath") to other writers.

Obituary:   http://www.ospreyobituaries.com/sitepages/obituary.asp?oId=250666&source=Belleville%20Intelligencer

Some of Dawn's Work:  http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/user_id/blackstump