MY DAY!
6.30 A.M. Wake up, mind reeling.
6.35 A.M. Back is achy and I'm mildly crampy like PMS.
6.37 A.M. Convinced IVF didn't work.
6.45 A.M. Wonder about taking the Methylprednisolone. Call RE, leave msg.
6.50 A.M. Feel hungry. Have breakfast.
7.00 A.M. Check email and look for someone to assuage my fears.
7.22 A.M. No luck. Crawl back into bed and try not to cry...Fail.
8.00 A.M. Nauseated. Probably from antibiotic.
8.07 A.M. Contemplate Acupuncture...today. Feeling desperate and panicky.
8.10 A.M. Go to bank, deposit check, buy box of Saltines. Can't find 3 of our spare house keys. Pissed!
8.15 A.M. Go back to bed.
11.30 A.M. Wake. Feel somewhat better.
11.33 A.M. RE calls, answers question.
11.53 A.M. Lunch.
1.00 P.M. Feeling a bit better.
1.40 P.M. Scared it didn't work.
3.30 P.M. Tries to convince self symptoms are probably from progesterone.
Bloating; breast tenderness; constipation; cramping; drowsiness; fluid retention; headache; nausea; stomach pain; tiredness; vaginal burning or irritation; vomiting.
4.15 P.M. Prop tomato and peppers, added soil.
4.55 P.M. Clean refrigerator. Realize it's because of my control issues and lack there of in situation and fear.
5.30 P.M. Whine at best friend.
6.00 P.M. Make dinner, don't eat, nauseated.
6.45 P.M Pick up man.
7.05 P.M. Man spies ripe strawberry I grew.
Me: Pick it!
Him: No
Me: OK I'll do it. (and do, handing it to him)
Him: You grew this! How did you do that?
Me: I really have no idea.
7.20 P.M. Eat Dinner.
7.55 P.M. More fear.
8.45 P.M. Sure IVF it didn't work.
8:50 P.M. Split strawberry.
9.15 P.M. Make chamomile tea.
9.30 P.M. Shower.
9.43 P.M. Drink tea and hope for calming effect.
11.25 P.M. Sure it didn't work.
11.33 P.M. Achy PMS type pain. Very pessimistic.
Let me say, there is always this undercurrent of fear and tension. When I note it, it's becuase it has turned into breath taking anxiety... So, welcome to my day.
I will probably have those same feelings after our transfer so I understand. Do you think you'll test at home before going to the beta?
ReplyDeleteHope- Depends on the day you ask me. Today, no. I'm feeling pessimistic. I don't want to know if it didn't work. Tomorrow may be a different story.
Thanks for your blog. I hope this cycle works out really well for you. I'll be checking back to see how you are doing :)
ReplyDeleteI can understand your anxiety - it's tough - it's seems like many of your symptoms go hand in hand with being pg. ??
ReplyDeleteDon't test beforehand, it's too soon for the pee-test and you'll just get upset. that's why they do blood so they can measure the levels. Don't get yourself more anxiety that you already have. Know that we're all here for you. And praying for you and the man.
ReplyDeleteDrink the rasberry tea mama. Anxiety and stress sucks. What has always helped me is go to a nursery and buy three plants, pot them up, feed them and sit near them for an hour. Tend to them everyday and use them for your moment of connection.....really it works. Oh if you want.....how about a scarf...lol
ReplyDeleteBe well
weirdooooo
Since it is my tendency to kill plants, lol, I think I will try the scarf idea. No need to keill a poor unsuspecting plant. :-)
Check that little pink book I sent you. It has some great herbal stuff that is safe for anxiety. Skullcap tincher under the tongue...like valium...yum..lol It does work! There is also one called motherwort also a sub-lingual tincture. Go to Whole Foods and check out the selection...you will not be dissapointed. Might even find something delicious to eat.
ReplyDeleteweirdooooo
I'll check it out. Maybe a trip to the store will take my mind off it. It sucks you're not allowed to drink. The ONE time in your life you could REALLY use one...Irony is a bitch.
Oh so we are into voodoo stuff now are we!!!!
ReplyDeleteBe well.
Sci-
Dork.
I can relate, I am on your same schedule. I think the nauseau may be from HCG, not progesterone. Which would be a good sign.
ReplyDelete*Cough* I may be a dork, but I'm a correct dork!
ReplyDelete