I have a couple things to talk about today that I forgot to mention yesterday.
First, I need to make another confession. I'm apparently suffering from anxiety. I guess that goes hand in hand with fear. How did I come to this enlightening conclusion? My hands hurt. OK, stick with me...
My hands have been hurting. Even with as much typing as I do, there is no reason for my hands to be feeling like this. Honest. I don't type THAT much! Then, two nights in a row, I wake to me, gripping my blankets like it is a life line; the only thing coming between me and a long, painful drop onto sharp rocks covered in salt! Why didn't I figure it out the FIRST night I woke up this way. I forgot. I've been tired lately, back off. The second night I was like, "Ohhhhh..." I'm not really sure how to deal with that. When I find myself doing that and I'm awake, (I SAID back off!! I'm working through my denial!) I just stop, stretch my hands, breathe, relax. Not sure how to do that when you're sleeping...Any ideas?
Second
Yesterday we got a notice that my insurance had been canceled due to lack of payment in April. WTF!!! So we looked it up there was a payment in April and May. There were other notices from them saying there was continuation of coverage blah, blah, blah...same old stuff...oh, that and the premium had gone up. So I call them. "Sorry ma'am, I don't see that your account has been cancelled. Sorry for scaring the living shit out of you! Is there anything else I can do?"
"No, thank you." I hang up. Can you believe that crap? Like I'm not neurotic enough!! You do remember the COST of IVF don't you???
THEN!!!! They had the nerve to call me today to tell me my coverage had been reinstated. WTF!!! AGAIN!! I stopped him in mid schpeal. "Excuse me, you're telling me my coverage was cancelled and now is reinstated?"
"Yes ma'am. Did I stutter?"
"No, but I do believe you're talking out of your ass. Why the fuck did you cancel it, Ass talker? May I call you Ass Talker?"
"Sure, call me A.T. for short! I've been called worse. But Um...I don't know why your coverage was canceled. It doesn't say. But it's reinstated! And the rates have gone up to..."
"Wait A.T. Why the hell did the rates go up?"
Exasperated sigh, "Not becuase we were a bunch of dumbasses and cancelled your insurance for no reason. The company just raised the rates since you are gonna be spending like $15,000 of our money. They had to recoup it somehow. So we are gonna make everyone pay."
"OK... Will the new rates will be up on your site so I don't have to write down the number?"
"If you're that feeble, yes it will be up there."
"Whatever A.T., I hope you and your other Ass Talking clan, never find a parking space ever again!"
"Thank you, have a nice day."
"Bite me."
Third bit of information that came to me today. The hysterosocopy... IS ON!! Yes ladies and gentlemen, the film crew will be invading my uterus July 3, 2007. Not sure of the release date, you know how it goes, editing, titles, music...all that Hollywood stuff. I'm not sure of the pay, since I'm not in the union, but, I'd be happy with scale. (Like I know what scale is...) So, why are they doing it? Well, apparently after reviewing the ultrasound, they saw a mucoid something or other on my lining. I would go into it, but I'm really not sure what it means. I don't know why it would be there. Or really what it is. I mean I kinda, sorta know what it is, but if you want to know what it is...here. Trust me, there will be a lot of questions about this.
Anyway, I say to the nurse, "I'm ok with this. I just wanted to know that there was a reason for the procedure, that you weren't just doing it becuase, it's like the military and you're just doing it becuase you were orderd to. "
She found that funny. Not sure why.
"Anyway. I also just wanted to say, I know you don't like to knock people out doing this procedure in office. The last time I had this done they did knock me out, by the way. But I just want you to know I'm very anxious about this. I know it is not a comfortable procedure."
Again she laughed. Apparently, I'm hilarious and need to get a stand up job.
"So, I will show up wearing my big girl panties, but I just want everyone involved to know, I am anxious about this."
More laughter, "Ok. Don't worry . It will be fine."
I guess she gets this a lot and is not phased, which, on some level is comforting. Oh well, I guess we'll see.
So, next Mondy we go do the IVF Orientation and Injection Training 12.45-4.00. Gawd! Oh, and we are supposed to bring two oranges to the injection training. This cracks me up. My hope is that they make us peel the orange before we start sticking it with needles. I mean, if anyone has skin that resembles an orange, they really need to be seeing a completely different doctor. Then we go back up on Thursday for the filming, check in 12.00 noon! I'm ready for my close up!!
Yup, I also had major insurance scares (at worst possible times too - the day of my BFN), anxiety, injections, and the H-scope to remove polyps. I did not sleep for the procedure, nor did they give me any pain meds (as far as I know) and I thought I was going to pass out from the pain!! I always kept hearing how it wasn't a big deal, but throughout everything I've gone through, that was the worst I've ever experienced. I really don't want to scare you, though, because I also turned out to need a cervical dilation (under twilight anesthesia, thank God!), which I'm today guessing may have been why the H-scope hurt like hell for me and apparently nobody else. Like I said, I don't want to scare you, but as a precaution for the unexpected, I feel like I should advice you to take lots of painkillers before the procedure, just in case. But in all likelihood, you'll be like most women out there and it'll be just fine. : ) I hope this cycle goes really well for you and that the insurance people will leave you alone - don't they have any understanding or empathy?!
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