OK, Explanation. You take the pills so the RE had control over your cycle. They know exactly when everything is supposed to happen. Capiche?
I decide to stay indoors most of today because it's hot. How hot? Like, Africa Hot! I kid you not, it was 109 degrees! One oh freaking 9!!! I should have gone first thing in the morning. I am not bright.
I gather my library books I need to return to the library and the rest of my junk and hit my car, which inside is like 306 degrees. Air conditioner full blast, Check! iPod, Check! *sings happily to Billy Joel's Oh What a Night* QUIT JUDGING ME!!! Off I go.
Again I have the parking karma, and find a spot in front of the library, go in return my books. Then pick up the audio books I have on hold. One of which is 27 hours long!!! And you though I was long winded! HA! Then she shows me these "Take Away" books. They are like mini mp3 players with one book on them. You check them out. All you provide is the batteries and headphones. Very cool!
Me: "Very cool!"
She: "Yeah every thing is getting smaller...except me."
Me: "Bwahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahahaha. Please honey, let's not go there today. It's too damn hot!"
She: Smiles brightly and walks away.
Today's lesson? I want to work at the library in town. Every time I go there, people are nice to me, give me books and make me laugh.
Ok, off to 7-11. Yes I said 7-11. Why? Remember my slushie love? Well I needed another one. They had a whole bank of machines! Like 12 fountains!! 3 of them worked! LOL. Hot day today! The three flavors they had were blue, ( not sure what flavor that is), Jolly Rancher Green Apple, ( my next conquest methinks) and Pepsi. BEST $1.94 I ever spent on 40 oz. of slushie, Pepsi goodness! Mmmmmmmm... And yes I did drink the whole thing! *Slurp* Wait, I'm supposed to be giving up caffeine...does a Pepsi flavored slushie have caffeine? Oh well, too late now!
Next stop, pharmacy. Ok. Get out of the car and am hit by a mighty, 109 degree wind. Holy Mother of God!!! Get in the store, pick up the drugs and the woman behind the counter was not impressed by me...At. All. Not sure what I ever did to her, but whatever.
Girl: "The pharmacist would like to speak to you about this."
Me: Thinking, you have no idea about my world... Saying, "Why? It's just birth control isn't it?"
Girl: Looking at me like she might crack.
Me: "Taken it before...Take one pill, once a day, same time every day..."
Girl: Smiles, "Ok. It just says here on the paper..."
Me. Thinking, I probably just saved you some work and that's why your smiling. "Bye!"
I walk out of the store and I swear to you, the same damn, wind was waiting for me when I got out. Bastard.
So, docs have prescribed Desogen. Of course insurance says here, have the generic brand, Reclipsen. Whatever. Same stuff different packaging. Brown and unattractive.
From the patient information insert:
5. Other side effects
Other side effects may include nausea and vomiting, change in appetite, headache, nervousness, depression, dizziness, loss of scalp hair, rash, and vaginal infections.
If any of these side effects bother you, call your doctor or clinic.
IF THEY BOTHER YOU??!!???!!!!!!
BOTHER??!!!!
I don't know what to say to that? That's not even true. There is too much to say about that! I don't think I have enough space to blog about all that is wrong with #5. Who writes this shit?
Anyway...I then make a stop at a fast food place and get a small snack because my stomach has finally decided it wants something, and it must be salty. Then, I'm home, eating my salty snack, drinking my ginormus slushie, in my air conditions home. Don't be a hater!
Tonight I will take the big step of punching out the little white pill and swallowing it. I'm so excited!!!!! Not.
Oh yeah, and can I say it's STILL HOT!!!! 9.00 pm and it's 93 degrees! F*ck Me!
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