Uterus For Sale

For Sale

One used, middle aged uterus.  Original owner. Currently possess the inability to develop suitable lining on demand (even with outside drug help) to promote growth of impending embryo implantation.  Known issues include endometriosis, spotting for no apparent reason, and great emotional trauma.

If this item is for you, please call the number below.

1-800-GET SOME FUCKING THERAPY

All Sales Final.

In case you haven't figured it out, my lining decided this cycle to pull this crap.  Has this happened before?  No. So What the fuck?  I mean really.  Know how much my lining did grow?  It went from 5, to...wait for it...5.  Nothing.  It grew not at all.  So we are scrapping this cycle.  Back to the beginning we go.  Oh but wait, there's more!  Not only do we have to go back to the beginning, I have to get in the "Way Back Machine" and actually start out two weeks before the beginning.  Yes boys and girls, instead of going back to "1", I have to go back to "-14". First, I start on the pill for two weeks to bring on my cycle, then on some day after it starts ( I can't remember which day becuase frankly I can't care enough to lean over and look at the paper resting at my feet.)  I start the pill AGAIN and THAT'S the beginning.  It's birth control pill, the prequel.

To top it off  I come home to one of the cats puking on the carpet.  Yep.  That about sums up my morning.

Have a nice day!