Let's play Doctor!

Phone conversation with my dr's office:

Me: Hi.  I would like to schedule surgery with Dr. N to take a look to see if the endometriosis is back.

Nurse: OK.  Let me pull your chart.  When would you like to do it?

Me:  As soon as possible.  But preferably not on my birthday. (I joke, laughing)

Nurse:  OK.  Let's see...oh...um.  Oh.

Me: What.

Nurse:  The earliest date we have available is February 9th.  Your birthday.

Me: (I laugh because what else can you do) Figures.

I will go in and discuss it with them on Friday...but if it does go down like that, consider yourself warned!

I WANT LOTS AND LOTS OF SYMPATHY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!

If I do have to do it on my birthday, I'm trying to look at the bright side of things.  So, lets play a game.  The...

Things you can do or get if you have surgery on your birthday:

1. You get morphine!

2. You get the sympathy birthday gift.

3. Party in your recovery room.

4. Wear a tiara and bring party favors.

5.  I can haz McSteamy?  Can you say sponge bath?

....Now, it's your turn!  Whatcha got?

Please Doctor, Sir, I'd like some more-phine

I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy.  It's the one where Meredith has appendicitis.  She is high as a freaking kite on morphine, headed into surgery where they were gonna cut her open and remove a piece of her insides.  I mean think about it, really, take a moment.  Remove. Body. Parts.  It's serious business, the risk for infection, something going wrong, bad surgeons, reaction to drugs.  Surgery is no joke.

And all I could think was, "Man!  She is soooooooo lucky!  She's on morphine and feels NOTHING!  Surgery is so worth it.  I wish I were her."

Oh Happy Day!

They just opened my favorite treat near Dr. N's office!!!

Yay me!!

\o/

All's Well That Begins Well

The consult appointment went well.  We went over all the usual stuff, questions, concerns, paths etc.  My doctor, we'll call him Dr. K, was on board with me going to my endomitriosis doctor, hereafter dubbed, Dr. N, for a look-see.  I mean if it's all happy in there, then bully for me.  If not, then he can do his magic and fix it.  I'll be down for about six weeks and we can get going on the transfer.  When we get closer to those proceedings, I'll give a more detailed explanations.  I will tell you this though, it looks like if we do a controlled cycle (with medications) rather than a natural one (with out meds) I'll have to go back on the bitch juice.  Woot!  Look out world!! Haahahahahahahahaha!

Here we go again...

So after a line up of surgeries and recovery not to mention all the other stuff going on in our lives, we have decided to go ahead with the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer).  Yep.  We're gonna thaw out those pops, (hopefully they will survive the thaw) drop them off and hopefully they will stick around.  I guess I can't really blame the others for not hanging out, it must have been uncomfortable with all that endo taking up space.  We only have two embryos and honestly, they wern't that high a grade, so I'm very worried about their surviving the thaw.

The initial consultation is tomorrow.  I worked on getting all my medical records sent over there before the consult so he has the information.  Since it's been a year since the last endo surgery, I'm thinking they are gonna need to take a look-see inside to see if the endo is back.  I'm hoping no, but I'm not sure and at this point I am not willing to make coin toss guess.  I think it is, but what do I know...

Then I guess we decide if it's gonna be a "natural" cycle or a drugged one.  We'll see I guess.

So, my fear and freak out level is pretty high.  Paranoid.  Cautious.  All those things are playing up.  Anxious is another good one.  I find myself tapping my fingers or foot a lot.  I haven't woken up gripping my blankets  like was was before, but I have notice some fist clenching during TV consumption.

To combat some of this I think I've started walking again, trying to work off some of this excess spaziness.  I downloaded a bunch of audio books so that will be nice.

Hopefully my issues with CIGNA won't get in my way of this round, but I guess we'll see.  Washington should invite a bunch of fertility challenged people up to speak about health care and insurance companies.  I'm sure we'd have a lot to say!

Surgery Part Deux

So, time for the second round of surgeries.  I was just reading over previous posts and glad to see, I am consistent in my fear.  Good Lord.  Yeah I went through the SAME. EXACT. EMOTIONS.  last week.  I forgot I felt this way last time.  Memory is a funny thing.

So, they are gonna remove the other tube, cysts, appendix, the endo and maybe do a bowel resection.  They won't know until they dig in.  I'll probably be in for 2 nights.  I only stayed one night last time and in retrospect should have stayed an additional night.  I'm not a good invalid at home.  I can't sit still.  It's also why I can't do my own nails.  Can't sit still.  I also can't have on nail polish for the surgery.  Bummer, dude.  But I digress...

If the do the resection, that will probably keep me in for another couple days.  I have a list of stuff I'm bringing with me, since I know I will be staying this time.  Last time my hospital roommate took up for me and got me stuff like a tooth brush and stuff.  I hope I'm that lucky again she is an amazing woman.  Anywho...I was wondering if there was internet connection, so I go searching the website to find this...

"What to Leave at Home

Please leave at home your valuables such as jewelry, large sums of cash, cell phones, laptop computers, pagers or video equipment. Electronic appliances (excepting shavers and hair dryers) are not permitted in patient rooms for safety reasons."

*Blink. Blink. Blink.*

YOU. MUST. BE. SHITTING. ME.  The HELL I'm not bringing my laptop and cell phone!!!  I have movies all picked out to watch!! Humph!  We'll just see about THAT!!  Have I mentioned I'm not a good invalid?  I don't sit around well.  *sigh*

Anyway, so I have to do the "Cleanse" again... *shudder*  I'm gonna stay home this time.  Even though my check in time is 5 freaking 30 in the morning.  Surgery at 7:30 which means while Obama is swearing in, I'll be out.  Super bummer.  I'm Tivoing it, but still, it's not the same.

So, if y'all are so inclined, holla at a sista.  You can reach me HOPEFULLY on my cell or try The Man's.  He'll be with me mostly or tell you my room number or whatever.  Don't worry, if I don't feel like talking, I won't answer the phone so, don't think you're disturbing me!  LOL.  Or better yet!! Come by and bring REAL broth!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

When it's over...

Update:

Sorry for the confusion.  We may try more IVF in the future, it's just with losing the insurance it will be a lot tougher.  I wrote the other post just after finding out the news we lost the insurance so I was not very clear.  I apologize for the misinformation.  With the insurance we had unlimited tries, now there is very much a limit and I am very much aware of it.  My heart is broken over it.  So, when we decide to try again (after someone sends me the winning lotto numbers :-) ) we'll let you know.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

No Cal-Cobra for me which means no more IVF.

I'll mourn my loss and move on.  Thanks for reading and commenting, it meant a lot.  I'll be making the blog private so if I have news and post, I'll send out an email.  If you can get in, email me and I'll include you.

Again, thanks for everything.