I tried to embed a video, but Word Press is a fucking bitch and won't is disinclined to cooperate. Anyway, the link is below. Watch it.
What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.
Showing posts with label Informational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Informational. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Lupron. Bitch Juice. There you go.
Well, I got a mini-tripod, so I thought I'd film an episode of me doin' the Bitch Juice. It's a lousy video. I'm not a filmmaker. I could edit it, I guess... but I'm also lazy and as you know on the Bitch Juice. Can you see me trying to edit video on Bitch Juice? Especially since I don't know how to use the editing software? I'm not interested in destroying my MacBook thankyouverymuch. This post was an exercise in how many times I could use the phrase Bitch Juice in one posting. Why?
*Grin*
Anyway...on with the show!
Hope you all aren't psychologically damaged by any of the contents of that video. I know it's disturbing on many levels. Although, not nearly as disturbing as The Man coming in and asking, "Are you watching this?"
Me: "I guess not anymore."
The Man: Changes the channel to a bunch of men playing banjos, mandolins and fiddles to a crowd of people with mullets.
If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna have to go so I can leave the room before I find a leftover progesterone syringe and stab him in the eye with it.
It's my blog,
I'm on Bitch Juice,
and it makes me happy, GODDAMNIT!
*Grin*
Anyway...on with the show!
Hope you all aren't psychologically damaged by any of the contents of that video. I know it's disturbing on many levels. Although, not nearly as disturbing as The Man coming in and asking, "Are you watching this?"
Me: "I guess not anymore."
The Man: Changes the channel to a bunch of men playing banjos, mandolins and fiddles to a crowd of people with mullets.
If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna have to go so I can leave the room before I find a leftover progesterone syringe and stab him in the eye with it.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Same, but Different
Previously on You're gonna do WHAT to my ovaries...
As you remember or don't, I was going in for another endometriosis surgery. The plan went off with out a hitch...mostly. What I wouldn't admit to anyone, was I was sick. Hell I wouldn't admit it to my self. "Oh no, just bad allergies. No biggie." Pfffffffft. I was sick.
My in-laws drove me to my brother's place becuase he was going to take me to my surgery and my husband and in-laws were going to all meet up at the hospital. My brother kept side-eying me. He finally says, "I bet they send you home."
I'm betting this too. I mean really, why would you operate on someone who can hardly breathe and is coughing like a maniac. On the other hand, maybe I can fool the medical staff. I mean who wants to do a bowel prep for NOTHING!
We get there do the usual waiting. Finally go in and start the prep. My head is killing me, yo. So I tell the nurse, "Can you slip some Tylenol in that I.V. for this headache?"
"No. It's too caustic. You will never find it in that form."
Me: *Blink Blink* "Oh." Doesn't matter. I got some fluids in me and my head stopped hurting. Go figure. Then the real test comes. They check my temp, it's normal. No surprise there, I rarely ever have a temperature. Then they check my lungs. I tell her about my "allergies" kicking my ass and that I've been using my inhaler pretty regularly.
"Breathe deep." the nurse says putting the stethoscope on my back.
I do, sort of. Not too deep, becuase, if I take too big a breath, the spasmodic coughing will commence. She asks for a deeper breath, and I do. So far so good. I look up at her expectantly.
"Seems fine to me." she says.
I think to my self, REALLY????? "Ok. Cool." Then there is more with the hurry up and wait.
Finally Dr. N shows up with his team. He goes through what he intends to do asks if I have any questions and I shake my head no. Then he leans in close and says, "Where did you get those delicious lemons?"
I crack up. "From my yard. I have a tree."
He then went on about how good they were. Yay me! /
You know what's odd, I never remember the operating room. I remember them wheeling me off, but I don't remember actually being in the room. What the hell kind of drugs are they giving you? I mean can you pin point it to certain memories? I have A LOT I'd like to forget...
Anywho...I wake up in recovery. All is well. Pain for the most part is manageable. I got the same nurses the last two times I was in for the same surgery, they remembered me.
The day I was supposed to go home, I was in a lot of pain. The morphine wasn't cutting it. I know, right? WTF? Dr. L came in and I told him. He called Dr. N and after deciding to wait it out for a bit, Dr. N called me that night and said if I am still in that much pain, he was worried and would have to go back in. This is where I freak out. Why? I have no idea. Then Dr. L said, "Are you taking the meds I prescribed you? "
"No. They don't let you bring them in the hospital."
He shakes his head and walks out. He comes back in a few minutes later. "Ok I've handled it. Let's see how this goes. "
Moments later, a nurse comes in with meds for me. Norco. It's like twice the hydrocodone and a fraction of the Tylenol. I'll try anything at this point, not to have to be cut open twice in two days.
Baaaaayyyyyybeeeeeeeeeee, lemme tell YOU! That shit is the bomb!! Pain? What pain!! I laugh at the mere mention of pain!! In fact I laugh at the mere mention of anything, and am in love with the whole wide world! Lets' here it for Dr. L! This is when I can finally get some rest.
Next thing I know, the nurses come in with a birthday cake for me!
How nice was that? Yeah, sure, I wasn't allowed to eat yet, but it's the thought that counts.Later they came and told me they had to move me to a shared room. They were not happy about it. I mean sure all alone is great but it made no never-mind to me since I was on the Norco. I loved everyone.
I ended up having to stay an extra night but that was ok. Healing went well. The doctors were very pleased at my quick recovery rate. All's well that ends well and I was given the go ahead for the next step.
Currently on You're gonna do WHAT to my ovaries...
We have started the down the path for the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). Here is how it is panning out.
June 9th, I started taking the pill again. I went in on the 14th for my baseline ultrasound. All was well there.
One June 21st, I started the Lupron. a.k.a. as Bitch Juice. My first day to start this, I was out of town. No biggie, I called the airline asked about procedure for carrying injectable perscription drugs, all was cool. Until the actual day to take them. I was out of town town for a family wedding. Thankfully I remembered to bring the drugs with me, but remembered almost too late to take the damn stuff. I take off like a shot and go to prep to take it. Picture it. Me in the brides room bathroom, prepping my tummy and bottle and needle and then think, how much am I supposed to take? Shit. I don't remember. I pace back and forth for a minute, then take the dive. 10. I say 10. I fill the syringe to 10 and stab myself in the stomach and hope for the best.
The next day we are driving back home (don't even get me started on the foolishness of that) and I take my second dose in the bathroom of a Black Bear Diner. Another 10, becuase, why not.
I mean to tell you, as soon as we got home, I did not pass go, I did not go potty, I ran straight up to my paperwork to check. What do you think I saw? Yep. 10! Whew! I was so relived. I didn't want to have to call my RE and explain why I'm such a moron.
June 25th is my last day of the pill. Then I'm supposed to call with CD1. Depending on that, I start Estrace. 2mg once a day with the Bitch Juice for five days
Then it's 2mg twice a day with Bitch Juice for four days.
Then it's 2mg three times a day plus Bitch Juice for five days.
Then we do an ultrasound lining check which should also be my last day of the Bitch Juice and Estrace three times a day. I should be quite the gentle, soft spoken lamb by then.
THEN, I get to go back to Estrace once a day plus progesterone. OK. Let me fill you in on this. The injectable progesterone is way cheaper. I got the capsule insert which was about three times more expensive. You know what? Worth every penny. If I had to take those shots in the ass every day, baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...I'd be a widow. I know I'd turn around and stab The Man in the eye with that damn needle.
Anyway, around July 19th we should be doing the transfer. Here are my big fears that I try not to think about becuase it would be paralyzing.
1. The embryos don't survive the thaw. Think of it this way. Ice crystals tend to tear things up. You know when you thaw frozen fruit it gets all mushy? Yeah. Like that. I think I read or was told somewhere it was a 50-50 chance of survival.
2. Same old fears. They embies don't take.
I have a better camera now, maybe I'll make a video of the Lupron shot for you. Maybe...we'll see. That is where we are. You are all caught up and I will keep you posted! Thanks for tuning in!
Next time on You're gonna do WHAT to my ovaries...
I have no idea. Whatever pops into my foolish head. Unless you have something you'd like to discuss!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
CD12/SD12/LD14-IVF#4
Ok. So the schedule is...
Wednesday 10.30 pm we trigger.
Friday 9.30 am is the retrieval.
Now, the interesting part is one of the doctors there called and asked if I was interested in being apart of a study. They want to do a 2 day transfer rather than a 3 day transfer. It seems there is no significant difference in the numbers. My dr says he has no preference either way. That this idea is nothing new, they used to only do 2 day transfers from like 1979-1992 or something. But the medium they developed the embryos in has gotten better so they switched to 3 day. Here is something I found online:
"It is concluded that the outcomes of embryo transfer in terms of implantation and pregnancy rates are comparable for day 2 and day 3 embryos, although the overall embryo quality score decreases when embryos are kept in culture till day 3." - http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/16/3/476
They gave me some stuff to read too but I'm not about to scan it and throw it up here lol. One study is from UCSF, and one from Turkey.
We haven't decided what to do. The numbers look like the womb does a better job of taking care of an embryo, but implantation rates are about the same. So...I dunno. You have any thoughts? Heard anything?
Oh yeah, and my lining is thin...they have me on Estradiol...so hopefully that works.
You know what, I haven't been spotting all that much, wonder if that's why, my lining is thin...interesting.
Wednesday 10.30 pm we trigger.
Friday 9.30 am is the retrieval.
Now, the interesting part is one of the doctors there called and asked if I was interested in being apart of a study. They want to do a 2 day transfer rather than a 3 day transfer. It seems there is no significant difference in the numbers. My dr says he has no preference either way. That this idea is nothing new, they used to only do 2 day transfers from like 1979-1992 or something. But the medium they developed the embryos in has gotten better so they switched to 3 day. Here is something I found online:
"It is concluded that the outcomes of embryo transfer in terms of implantation and pregnancy rates are comparable for day 2 and day 3 embryos, although the overall embryo quality score decreases when embryos are kept in culture till day 3." - http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/16/3/476
They gave me some stuff to read too but I'm not about to scan it and throw it up here lol. One study is from UCSF, and one from Turkey.
We haven't decided what to do. The numbers look like the womb does a better job of taking care of an embryo, but implantation rates are about the same. So...I dunno. You have any thoughts? Heard anything?
Oh yeah, and my lining is thin...they have me on Estradiol...so hopefully that works.
You know what, I haven't been spotting all that much, wonder if that's why, my lining is thin...interesting.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
CD9/SD9/LD11-IVF#4
I went looking for legislation on infertility being treated like any other disease by insurance companies. I found this website. Obviously that is important to me especially as my insurance coverage rapidly comes to and end, and with it my hopes of having a biological child. Will you take a moment and check out the information below? Thanks.
I found some information on this website: Resolve
**********************************************************************************************************
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=132
**********************************************************************************************************
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=159
**********************************************************************************************************
Here is a link to the Bill:
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-2892&tab=summary
**********************************************************************************************************
Some reading for friends and family about infertility:
fact_sheet_6_family_and_friends
The ADA recognizes infertility, why don't the insurance companies? They claim having children is a lifestyle choice? Well it is not my lifestyle choice to be childless...Anyway, I'll get off my soap box for now...but only because I'm tired.
Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to check this out.
I found some information on this website: Resolve
**********************************************************************************************************
Contact your senator about Supporting Coverage of Infertility Treatment:
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=132
**********************************************************************************************************
Contact your representative about Supporting HR2892--Infertility Treatment Coverage Legislation:
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=159
**********************************************************************************************************
Here is a link to the Bill:
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-2892&tab=summary
**********************************************************************************************************
Some reading for friends and family about infertility:
fact_sheet_6_family_and_friends
The ADA recognizes infertility, why don't the insurance companies? They claim having children is a lifestyle choice? Well it is not my lifestyle choice to be childless...Anyway, I'll get off my soap box for now...but only because I'm tired.
Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to check this out.
Monday, September 1, 2008
CD4/SD4/LD6-IVF#4
To all you other IVF folk out there, I have questions for you.
I saw a video blog of someone giving themselves injections of their meds. It looked to me like they were using an intramuscular needle for their stims and such ( I could be wrong, but the needle looked big). I have only ever used the subcutaneous. How about you? What size needles are you using? Do you know of any benefits (other than the obvious, OUCH!) to using one over the other?
[gallery]
What about anti-rejection drugs? I know that if you do ICSI or Assisted Hatching you get one. Have you heard of one that make your womb "stickier"? What protocols are you on? If you were successful what worked for you?
What say you!
I saw a video blog of someone giving themselves injections of their meds. It looked to me like they were using an intramuscular needle for their stims and such ( I could be wrong, but the needle looked big). I have only ever used the subcutaneous. How about you? What size needles are you using? Do you know of any benefits (other than the obvious, OUCH!) to using one over the other?
[gallery]
What about anti-rejection drugs? I know that if you do ICSI or Assisted Hatching you get one. Have you heard of one that make your womb "stickier"? What protocols are you on? If you were successful what worked for you?
What say you!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
1DP3DT (1 Day Past 3 Day Transfer)
I know I've been AWOL, but I've needed time. The thing that surprises me is how tired I am. I guess all the emotional stress has taken it's toll on me. Honestly I feel like I could sleep for days. You know what, maybe I will. I can, so why not take advantage of it.
You got part of that blog. Having imbibed myself with gallons of liquid the day before, the nurse had no trouble finding my vain for the IV this time. So I sit in pre-op waiting, reading a magazine, fawning over washers and dryers. (This is how yo know you're old. lol) The doctor who looks like she belongs on Grey's Anatomy, we'll call her Dr. O, comes over asks the usual questions, we chit chat a few seconds. I told her I wrote about her in my blog.
Dr. O: Uh-oh
Me: No, I said you looked like you belong on the cast of Grey's Anatomy
Dr. O: Oh, thank you!
Disembodied Nurse Head From Behind Curtain: I know doesn't she?!! (head disappears)
We all laugh.
Me: Now we just need to find Dr. McDreamy!
Dr. O: I know!! Where's my McDreamy?!!!
Me: I don't know, but if you find McSteamy let me know!!
A few words with the very nice anaesthesiologist, then a bit later I walk into the OR. They strap me down and put the mask on me. If I have a choice, next time, no mask. Give me the little nasal tubie thingie. To claustrophobic for me. Next thing I know, I'm out. Now, it's only a general so there's no tube down the throat or anything and you are actually partially awake, but remember nothing. *shakes head* you'll see the humor in that later.
I wake up and they move me to a gurney and take me back to recovery. They check me, make sure there is no excess bleeding. There is some but they are not worried. The expect it. I get cleaned up and they leave me there to sort of come around. The more I come around the more I hurt.
Nurse: You're frowning.
Me: Yeah. I hurt.
Nurse: Scale?
Me: About a 6
Nurse: That bad? - she comes over pushes on my stomach
Me: OUUUUCH!
Nurse: Well it's soft, so that's good. Why don't I get you some pain killers.
Me: OK. (inside, NOW YOU'RE TALKING)
She gives me 25 whatevers of Phentenol (sp). It takes the edge off for a little. She comes back a while later.
Nurse: How is it now?
Me: It was ok but now it's back.
Nurse: Well you have had nearly a whole IV bag, your bladder is probably full, why don't we take you to empty it.
My bladder doesn't feel full but maybe the drugs are confusing me. She walks me to the bathroom and I do my business. Which isn't a lot. Glad I'm not that off.
Nurse: Is there any bleeding?
Me: (happily) Nope.
We walk back to recovery. She is hanging my IV again, and straightening the bed for me to get back in when I feel something on my leg. I move my gown, look and I am dripping blood. FUCK!
Me: (FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! But stating calmly) Um, I seem to be bleeding.
She looks over and goes into serious nurse mode gets me into bed and starts checking me out. Goes to get Dr. O. I hear them conferring and whispering, ad they come back. Evidently, they also drained two endometriomas, and fluid and mucoid from my uterus. They expected there to be bleeding. What they are seeing is old blood so they're not that worried. I'm so glad someone's not! So they clean me up...again...and gave me more Phentenol and tried to make me more comfortable. As before, it takes the edge off but that's about it.
Nurse: I have a new plan. I don't want to give you any more Phentenol because your respiratory signs are dropping. I want to get you comfortable, get you in the car, and get you home where you can take vicodin.
Me: I love and support that plan.
After monitoring me for another half hour, I get up and dressed and out. I have vague recollections of getting home and having a conversation with my mother about sleeping on the couch. The man fills my prescription and I spend the next couple of days drugged up.
I get up and go downstairs to make breakfast. Take out bowl. Get Cocoa Puffs off top of fridge. Pour in bowl. Get glass for orange juice. Get milk and juice out of fridge. Pour Cocoa Puffs into glass. Look at glass. Realize something is wrong, but can't quite figure it out. Shit. Pour Puffs into bowl. Pick up glass, pick up juice in other hand. Look at glass, look at juice. Look at glass, look at juice. Pour juice in glass. Good. Pour milk in cereal. Put milk away on top of fridge...
Distracted much?
To do the transfer, you have to have a full bladder, helps push the uterus into the right position. So I drink over a liter of water so by the time I get there, I have to pee so bad I might die and we are a half hour early. So I cheat and pee. Go up to the office continue to drink. They call me in. take an ultrasound of my bladder.
Another Nurse: It's full.
Me: I told you that already.
AN: I'm just gonna take a picture and show the doc.
She does and disappears forever. Now, I am really uncomfortable and in pain.
Me: I can't wait much longer. I'm in pain. I'm just gonna go empty it half way.
The Man: Can you do that?
Me: I don't have a choice.
We debate over this for another 5 minutes.
That's it! I can't takes it no more! I get up get dressed peek out the door. Coast is clear. SNEAKY RUN down to the bathroom, pee like the wind, and empty half my bladder. Get to the bathroom door, peek outside, coast still clear, RUUUUUUUUN back to the exam room! TM and I laugh hysterically.
TM: You gonna tell the doc?
Me: Not if he doesn't ask. I don't want to get in trouble.
A while later the doc comes in.
Doc: Hello! So your bladder is too full.
Me to my self (not anymore)
Doc: So we need you to empty it. I want everything to go smoothly. Did you empty it partially already.
BUSTED! Me: Yeah.
Doc: That's good. Now, go back, do a slow count to 12 and then stop. That should leave plenty.
Me: Really? Ok...
The doc leaves to go attend to something probably the Assisted Hatching with the embryologist.
Me: I'm pretty sure there will be nothing left if I count to 12.
TM: Good luck!
So I go to the bathroom. Do my business, count to 12 and amazingly, bladder not empty! Guess that's why they call him doc! I go back to the room and wait. Doc and AN come back do some ultrasounds, make sure the mucus is gone, things are cleaned up. They are. He goes in and does a little bit more house cleaning.
While he is doing that, I ask some questions, and he laughs. Apparently, I was asking the same questions while I was "out". He says, your not really unconscious, and you talk and stuff. So it looks like I was telling Dr. O how pretty and smart she was and joking about Dr. McDreamy and then invited everyone over for a bar-b-que and cookies. Gawd I'm such a dork.
Doc: (Laughing) No, no. You don't tell any secrets or anything.
Ain't that a relief!
Doc: All it says is your a very nice person.
I could die right now.
TM: That sounds like her. Always wanting to feed people.
GAAAAWWWWDDDD!!! I guess I am who I am...
Then, just like that, he's ready. They bring in the embies. With out any fan fare, transfer them into my uterus and he shows me the air bubble on the ultrasound.
Doc: There they are. That is just an air bubble, they are too small to see but there they are.
And here they are...hopefully...my future:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[caption id="attachment_127" align="aligncenter" width="495" caption="The 3 Embryos"]
[/caption]
Retrieval Day:
You got part of that blog. Having imbibed myself with gallons of liquid the day before, the nurse had no trouble finding my vain for the IV this time. So I sit in pre-op waiting, reading a magazine, fawning over washers and dryers. (This is how yo know you're old. lol) The doctor who looks like she belongs on Grey's Anatomy, we'll call her Dr. O, comes over asks the usual questions, we chit chat a few seconds. I told her I wrote about her in my blog.
Dr. O: Uh-oh
Me: No, I said you looked like you belong on the cast of Grey's Anatomy
Dr. O: Oh, thank you!
Disembodied Nurse Head From Behind Curtain: I know doesn't she?!! (head disappears)
We all laugh.
Me: Now we just need to find Dr. McDreamy!
Dr. O: I know!! Where's my McDreamy?!!!
Me: I don't know, but if you find McSteamy let me know!!
A few words with the very nice anaesthesiologist, then a bit later I walk into the OR. They strap me down and put the mask on me. If I have a choice, next time, no mask. Give me the little nasal tubie thingie. To claustrophobic for me. Next thing I know, I'm out. Now, it's only a general so there's no tube down the throat or anything and you are actually partially awake, but remember nothing. *shakes head* you'll see the humor in that later.
I wake up and they move me to a gurney and take me back to recovery. They check me, make sure there is no excess bleeding. There is some but they are not worried. The expect it. I get cleaned up and they leave me there to sort of come around. The more I come around the more I hurt.
Nurse: You're frowning.
Me: Yeah. I hurt.
Nurse: Scale?
Me: About a 6
Nurse: That bad? - she comes over pushes on my stomach
Me: OUUUUCH!
Nurse: Well it's soft, so that's good. Why don't I get you some pain killers.
Me: OK. (inside, NOW YOU'RE TALKING)
She gives me 25 whatevers of Phentenol (sp). It takes the edge off for a little. She comes back a while later.
Nurse: How is it now?
Me: It was ok but now it's back.
Nurse: Well you have had nearly a whole IV bag, your bladder is probably full, why don't we take you to empty it.
My bladder doesn't feel full but maybe the drugs are confusing me. She walks me to the bathroom and I do my business. Which isn't a lot. Glad I'm not that off.
Nurse: Is there any bleeding?
Me: (happily) Nope.
We walk back to recovery. She is hanging my IV again, and straightening the bed for me to get back in when I feel something on my leg. I move my gown, look and I am dripping blood. FUCK!
Me: (FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! But stating calmly) Um, I seem to be bleeding.
She looks over and goes into serious nurse mode gets me into bed and starts checking me out. Goes to get Dr. O. I hear them conferring and whispering, ad they come back. Evidently, they also drained two endometriomas, and fluid and mucoid from my uterus. They expected there to be bleeding. What they are seeing is old blood so they're not that worried. I'm so glad someone's not! So they clean me up...again...and gave me more Phentenol and tried to make me more comfortable. As before, it takes the edge off but that's about it.
Nurse: I have a new plan. I don't want to give you any more Phentenol because your respiratory signs are dropping. I want to get you comfortable, get you in the car, and get you home where you can take vicodin.
Me: I love and support that plan.
After monitoring me for another half hour, I get up and dressed and out. I have vague recollections of getting home and having a conversation with my mother about sleeping on the couch. The man fills my prescription and I spend the next couple of days drugged up.
Transfer Day:
I get up and go downstairs to make breakfast. Take out bowl. Get Cocoa Puffs off top of fridge. Pour in bowl. Get glass for orange juice. Get milk and juice out of fridge. Pour Cocoa Puffs into glass. Look at glass. Realize something is wrong, but can't quite figure it out. Shit. Pour Puffs into bowl. Pick up glass, pick up juice in other hand. Look at glass, look at juice. Look at glass, look at juice. Pour juice in glass. Good. Pour milk in cereal. Put milk away on top of fridge...
Distracted much?
To do the transfer, you have to have a full bladder, helps push the uterus into the right position. So I drink over a liter of water so by the time I get there, I have to pee so bad I might die and we are a half hour early. So I cheat and pee. Go up to the office continue to drink. They call me in. take an ultrasound of my bladder.
Another Nurse: It's full.
Me: I told you that already.
AN: I'm just gonna take a picture and show the doc.
She does and disappears forever. Now, I am really uncomfortable and in pain.
Me: I can't wait much longer. I'm in pain. I'm just gonna go empty it half way.
The Man: Can you do that?
Me: I don't have a choice.
We debate over this for another 5 minutes.
That's it! I can't takes it no more! I get up get dressed peek out the door. Coast is clear. SNEAKY RUN down to the bathroom, pee like the wind, and empty half my bladder. Get to the bathroom door, peek outside, coast still clear, RUUUUUUUUN back to the exam room! TM and I laugh hysterically.
TM: You gonna tell the doc?
Me: Not if he doesn't ask. I don't want to get in trouble.
A while later the doc comes in.
Doc: Hello! So your bladder is too full.
Me to my self (not anymore)
Doc: So we need you to empty it. I want everything to go smoothly. Did you empty it partially already.
BUSTED! Me: Yeah.
Doc: That's good. Now, go back, do a slow count to 12 and then stop. That should leave plenty.
Me: Really? Ok...
The doc leaves to go attend to something probably the Assisted Hatching with the embryologist.
Me: I'm pretty sure there will be nothing left if I count to 12.
TM: Good luck!
So I go to the bathroom. Do my business, count to 12 and amazingly, bladder not empty! Guess that's why they call him doc! I go back to the room and wait. Doc and AN come back do some ultrasounds, make sure the mucus is gone, things are cleaned up. They are. He goes in and does a little bit more house cleaning.
While he is doing that, I ask some questions, and he laughs. Apparently, I was asking the same questions while I was "out". He says, your not really unconscious, and you talk and stuff. So it looks like I was telling Dr. O how pretty and smart she was and joking about Dr. McDreamy and then invited everyone over for a bar-b-que and cookies. Gawd I'm such a dork.
Doc: (Laughing) No, no. You don't tell any secrets or anything.
Ain't that a relief!
Doc: All it says is your a very nice person.
I could die right now.
TM: That sounds like her. Always wanting to feed people.
GAAAAWWWWDDDD!!! I guess I am who I am...
Then, just like that, he's ready. They bring in the embies. With out any fan fare, transfer them into my uterus and he shows me the air bubble on the ultrasound.
Doc: There they are. That is just an air bubble, they are too small to see but there they are.
And here they are...hopefully...my future:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[caption id="attachment_127" align="aligncenter" width="495" caption="The 3 Embryos"]
[/caption]
Sunday, July 20, 2008
CD11/SD11
I was right.
Tonight is my last dose of the stimulants and aspirin. (BTW thanks cuz for the aspirin!)
Monday night we start the antibiotic with dinner. 11.30 P.M. We trigger with the HCG. Which is exactly 35 hours before retrieval.
Tuesday, more antibiotics morning and evening with food. No eating or drinking for me after bedtime. We will probably go stay at BIL & SIL's place they are closer to Stanford than we are.
Wednesday morning the man takes his last does of antibiotic.
8.30 A.M. The man drops of his "Genetic Contribution"
9.30 A.M. I check in. (Notice I have to get up earlier becuase of him. It's ok. I checked with the doctor, I get good drugs. Nananananaaaaaanaaaaaaa!)
10.30 A.M. Retrieval.
So that's the plan. Then with any luck, they will fertilize and I will go back in 3-5 days later for the transfer. Here is the best video I on Oocyte retrieval could find.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=60btZpQMEZg]
Here is one one assisted hatching.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=19iLtgR7ULQ]
And here is one of ICSI
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZBZIRQlL0n8&feature=related]
Well I have to go give myself the last of my stims. So I'll see y'all later!!
Tonight is my last dose of the stimulants and aspirin. (BTW thanks cuz for the aspirin!)
Monday night we start the antibiotic with dinner. 11.30 P.M. We trigger with the HCG. Which is exactly 35 hours before retrieval.
Tuesday, more antibiotics morning and evening with food. No eating or drinking for me after bedtime. We will probably go stay at BIL & SIL's place they are closer to Stanford than we are.
Wednesday morning the man takes his last does of antibiotic.
8.30 A.M. The man drops of his "Genetic Contribution"
9.30 A.M. I check in. (Notice I have to get up earlier becuase of him. It's ok. I checked with the doctor, I get good drugs. Nananananaaaaaanaaaaaaa!)
10.30 A.M. Retrieval.
So that's the plan. Then with any luck, they will fertilize and I will go back in 3-5 days later for the transfer. Here is the best video I on Oocyte retrieval could find.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=60btZpQMEZg]
Here is one one assisted hatching.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=19iLtgR7ULQ]
And here is one of ICSI
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZBZIRQlL0n8&feature=related]
Well I have to go give myself the last of my stims. So I'll see y'all later!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Cycle Day 1/Stimulant Day 1 (CD1/SD1)
Tah Dah!!!!. All went well at the doc today. I hurled my questions at her like they were the last words that would ever leave my lips and she answered each one with out batting an eye. I like that. She assuaged all, well a lot of my fears and said my size 1 cyst was on the outside of my ovary so she could give a crap about it. Yay me! BUT! She wanted to make sure so she sent me for a blood test to check my Estradiol Level. They wanted it under 60. Woot!!! I was. What was it? Click here----> X *snicker*
Anyway, I didn't get the number until I got home later and she said to go ahead and start the stims. So what are the stims and how much am I taking?
Follistim - 425 IU: This is a problem because the vials the pharmacy gave me are all 300 IU's, and you can only use one vial at a time, so you guessed it, I have to give myself at least 2 shots of this to get the right dosage. Good thing it doesn't hurt, or at least I hit a spot that didn't hurt this time. So what is the drug?
Follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) is a naturally occurring hormone. FSH is important in the development of follicles (eggs) produced by the ovaries. Follistim is a brand of follicle stimulating hormone. Follistim is used to stimulate a follicle to develop and mature. It is used when a woman desires pregnancy and her ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is not sufficient to make the follicle mature. Follistim is also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization.
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="275" caption="Follistim Pen and Cartridge"]
[/wp_caption]
Menepure - 150 IU: The vials come in 75 IU's so I have to mix them with a regular syringe to get the right amount, so only one shot! This one stung a bit though... I wonder if it was my ineptitude or the drug actually stings. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Anyway...ONE SHOT!! Woot! What is this drug?
Menotropins are an equal mixture of the naturally occurring follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH). FSH and LH are important for the development of follicles (eggs) produced by the ovaries. Menotropins are used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) when a woman's ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient. Menotropins are also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization.
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Menopur"]
[/wp_caption]
I'll make a video of me prepping the shots so you can see what I mean. Do you want to see me give my self the injection as well? Let me know.
Bottom line? They help me produce many eggs. Essentially...I'm a chicken...
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="177" caption="Black Hen on Eggs"]
[/wp_caption]
Hahahahaha get it? Get it? Black hen...eggs...no? Geeze you guys suck!
Anyway, I didn't get the number until I got home later and she said to go ahead and start the stims. So what are the stims and how much am I taking?
Follistim - 425 IU: This is a problem because the vials the pharmacy gave me are all 300 IU's, and you can only use one vial at a time, so you guessed it, I have to give myself at least 2 shots of this to get the right dosage. Good thing it doesn't hurt, or at least I hit a spot that didn't hurt this time. So what is the drug?
Follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) is a naturally occurring hormone. FSH is important in the development of follicles (eggs) produced by the ovaries. Follistim is a brand of follicle stimulating hormone. Follistim is used to stimulate a follicle to develop and mature. It is used when a woman desires pregnancy and her ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is not sufficient to make the follicle mature. Follistim is also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization.
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="275" caption="Follistim Pen and Cartridge"]
[/wp_caption]Menepure - 150 IU: The vials come in 75 IU's so I have to mix them with a regular syringe to get the right amount, so only one shot! This one stung a bit though... I wonder if it was my ineptitude or the drug actually stings. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Anyway...ONE SHOT!! Woot! What is this drug?
Menotropins are an equal mixture of the naturally occurring follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH). FSH and LH are important for the development of follicles (eggs) produced by the ovaries. Menotropins are used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) when a woman's ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient. Menotropins are also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization.
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Menopur"]
[/wp_caption]I'll make a video of me prepping the shots so you can see what I mean. Do you want to see me give my self the injection as well? Let me know.
Bottom line? They help me produce many eggs. Essentially...I'm a chicken...
[wp_caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="177" caption="Black Hen on Eggs"]
[/wp_caption]Hahahahaha get it? Get it? Black hen...eggs...no? Geeze you guys suck!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Cycle Day 23
To obsess or not to obsess...Well, it's me so of course it's to obsess. What's my latest bent? Well 3-Day versus 5-Day transfer. I'm debating with myself over how technical to get about this...hmmmm. Fuck it. I'll just see where it leads me. As I understand it, if the fertilized eggs make it to good grade (1 or 2), and 8 cells by day 3, they will transfer it to another medium to grow to blastoycyst stage.
Grade 1: even cell division, no fragmentation
Grade 2: even cell division, small fragmentation
Grade 3: uneven cell division, moderate fragmentation
Grade 4: uneven cell division, excessive fragmentation
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="3-Day 8 Cell Embryo"]
[/wp_caption]
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="5-Day Blastocyst"]
[/wp_caption]
My question is, what if the cells don't make it to 8 by day 3 and they decide to transfer on day 3 anyway, who's to say that they would develop any further in my uterus? The fertilized egg doesn't usually make it to the uterus until day 5. On day 3 they are still in the fallopian tube. So does putting them in a place they are not supposed to be in for another couple of days risk the eggs? If you keep them in the new medium, which is more like a fallopian tube environment for the 5 day transfer, does it give you better odds? If they are not developing after 3 days doesn't it mean that there is a genetic problem? Is transferring them on day 3 just taking the emotional responsibility off the RE? The embies don't make it to day 5 so the couple screams, "Your lab screwed up my embryos!!" Or are they in a back room somewhere shaking their collective heads at the poorly developed cells snickering, "Well, lets just transfer them since they aren't gonna make it anyway that way she will think it's her fault and not ours." Is the reason they predominately do a 3 Day transfer because of insurance companies. Does the extra expense and time it takes to nurture to the blast stage make it a financial decision rather than a scientific one? Are they too large a clinic for them to bring it to blast effectively because they do so many procedures? I told you I was obsessing.
My next not so heated obsess? Well I guess it's not really an obsess more of a query. Why didn't they put me on Lupron this cycle? Curious...
My third obsess, Assisted Hatching. To hatch or not to hatch? What is it? The embryo is first placed in a petrie dish containing culture solution. A special pipette is then used to hold the embryo in place. The embryologist takes a hollow needle that contains an acidic solution and places it next to the zona pellicuda. A tiny bit of this acidic solution is released from the needle so that it comes into contact with the zona pellicuda. ( I understand they are beginning to use lasers, too) This acidic solution begins to slowly digest the protective layering, creating a small hole. The embryo is then washed in a special solution and placed back inside an incubator until the embryo transfer can take place. It seems to me if assisted hatching increases pregnancy rates why wouldn't you do it all the time?
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Assisted Hatching"]
[/wp_caption]
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="350" caption="Hatched Blast - Go little blast GO!!!"]
[/wp_caption]
I was reading about the reasons to do assisted hatching:
So, when I checked my paperwork, they don't have me down for assisted hatching. WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT!!! The poor doctor is soooooooo gonna get an ear full from me tomorrow.
Last obsess, what if they don't like the size of my size 1 follicle? I have never been a size 1 anything...maybe shoe...Now, I'm complaining because I have something that is a size 1 and it too freaking big. How wrong is that!!!!! This is not going to be a very good night...
In other related news...you notice we are on Cycle Day 23 and Cycle Day 1 again...I'm tired, crampy, headachy...but no CD1. Maybe tomorrow.
I was just re-reading this post and can you please add PMS to my "In other related news" list? Sheesh...maybe it's a good thing I'm not on Lupron. I might start killing fools. The doctor was probably afraid for his life!
Numeric grading systems for multicell embryos usually have 4 levels:
Grade 1: even cell division, no fragmentation
Grade 2: even cell division, small fragmentation
Grade 3: uneven cell division, moderate fragmentation
Grade 4: uneven cell division, excessive fragmentation
Article by T. Timothy Smith, MD IVF Timetable and Embryo Grading
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="3-Day 8 Cell Embryo"]
[/wp_caption][wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="5-Day Blastocyst"]
[/wp_caption]My question is, what if the cells don't make it to 8 by day 3 and they decide to transfer on day 3 anyway, who's to say that they would develop any further in my uterus? The fertilized egg doesn't usually make it to the uterus until day 5. On day 3 they are still in the fallopian tube. So does putting them in a place they are not supposed to be in for another couple of days risk the eggs? If you keep them in the new medium, which is more like a fallopian tube environment for the 5 day transfer, does it give you better odds? If they are not developing after 3 days doesn't it mean that there is a genetic problem? Is transferring them on day 3 just taking the emotional responsibility off the RE? The embies don't make it to day 5 so the couple screams, "Your lab screwed up my embryos!!" Or are they in a back room somewhere shaking their collective heads at the poorly developed cells snickering, "Well, lets just transfer them since they aren't gonna make it anyway that way she will think it's her fault and not ours." Is the reason they predominately do a 3 Day transfer because of insurance companies. Does the extra expense and time it takes to nurture to the blast stage make it a financial decision rather than a scientific one? Are they too large a clinic for them to bring it to blast effectively because they do so many procedures? I told you I was obsessing.
My next not so heated obsess? Well I guess it's not really an obsess more of a query. Why didn't they put me on Lupron this cycle? Curious...
My third obsess, Assisted Hatching. To hatch or not to hatch? What is it? The embryo is first placed in a petrie dish containing culture solution. A special pipette is then used to hold the embryo in place. The embryologist takes a hollow needle that contains an acidic solution and places it next to the zona pellicuda. A tiny bit of this acidic solution is released from the needle so that it comes into contact with the zona pellicuda. ( I understand they are beginning to use lasers, too) This acidic solution begins to slowly digest the protective layering, creating a small hole. The embryo is then washed in a special solution and placed back inside an incubator until the embryo transfer can take place. It seems to me if assisted hatching increases pregnancy rates why wouldn't you do it all the time?
[wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Assisted Hatching"]
[/wp_caption][wp_caption id="" align="alignnone" width="350" caption="Hatched Blast - Go little blast GO!!!"]
[/wp_caption]I was reading about the reasons to do assisted hatching:
- Where the woman is over a certain age (37 ick!). --OK. That's me...
- Egg quality and quantity. Where the woman's FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone: 1- Hormone produced by the pituitary gland responsible for stimulating the growth of the follicle that surrounds the egg. FSH on CD3 of menstrual cycle is important in evaluating ovarian reserve.) hormone is high. --Not sure about that, I think mine was.
- The Z factor. Where the Zona Pellucida (the outer covering of the egg...the shell) is thick. --I have no idea...
- Previous failed IVF attemps. --This is IVF #3
So, when I checked my paperwork, they don't have me down for assisted hatching. WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT!!! The poor doctor is soooooooo gonna get an ear full from me tomorrow.
Last obsess, what if they don't like the size of my size 1 follicle? I have never been a size 1 anything...maybe shoe...Now, I'm complaining because I have something that is a size 1 and it too freaking big. How wrong is that!!!!! This is not going to be a very good night...
In other related news...you notice we are on Cycle Day 23 and Cycle Day 1 again...I'm tired, crampy, headachy...but no CD1. Maybe tomorrow.
I was just re-reading this post and can you please add PMS to my "In other related news" list? Sheesh...maybe it's a good thing I'm not on Lupron. I might start killing fools. The doctor was probably afraid for his life!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Cycle Day 22
Although, I'm really mostly posting about Cycle Day 17...AKA...HYSTEROSCOPY DAY!! *cue fanfare*
Ok, so the day starts ok. I'm all packed for my weekend camping trip, we pack the car and head to the RE's office. We're due for a 12:00 Check in for a 1:00pm procedure. We are about half way there at 11:00am when I get a call on my cell phone.
"This is the RE's office, may I speak to MWB (Mommie Wanna Be) please?"
"This is she..."
"Hi, we have you scheduled for an 11:00am procedure with a 10:00am check in and you're not here."
"No, you have me scheduled for a 1:00pm procedure with a 12 Noon check in."
"Where did you get that information?" I kid you NOT that is what the bitch said to me.
Getting up on my high horse, "On the paper work YOU gave me."
"I see. Can you give me a minute to check on that? Oh wait, can I just call you back?"
"Sure thing." I hang up the phone turn to the man and repeat the conversation. His face is blank. I know what he is thinking, How will this affect my camping trip? Next I pull up my computer and look at the scanned document. Yep 12 noon. Shortly there after, I get a call back.
"You're saying no one called you to reschedule your time?" Like I'm lying!!! You do understand you can't eat or drink at all before the procedure... wouldn't I want to move it up so I could eat before 3PM???!!!
"Yes. No one called me. I got no messages."
"Hmmm...OK. Well why don't you come in at the regularly scheduled time." Like she's doing me a favor!!!
"Yes that will be fine."
A little while later at the RE's office...
BFF, "So you never got a phone call?"
"No. Not a one. Not a message or anything."
"That's odd, because she said she spoke to you."
WHAT LYING BITCH SAID THAT!!!!! "No. She is mistaken. She must have talked with someone else. I mean doesn't it make sense I'd want to come in earlier for this? It's not like it's any inconvenience."
BFF looks sceptical, I'm not sure if it's she doesn't believe me or she has concerns about whoever the lying bitch is who SAID she talked to me. "Yeah it does."
"Maybe she just THINKS she talked to me because she misses me so much." I quip.
BFF laughs. Later I find out they are having a BBQ. Probably why they wanted to reschedule so badly. She must have lied to clear the books. To hell with the worried woman on an IVF schedule because she is infertile and may never have her own biological child. Bitch.
Later after the intake and instructions, I am in the preop room where they have to give me an IV. Well, boys and girls, lesson one, if you have not eaten or had anything to drink all that day, you are dehydrated and it makes finding a vein very, very, very, very hard. Yes I used four very's. Why? Because they tried to impale me FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES IN FOUR DIFFERENT PLACES!!! Good thing I'm not afraid of needles and am a good sport! They started out on my left hand, and didn't just poke and run, they had to wiggle it around in there awhile before they decided it wouldn't do. Then they moved to my left wrist where they repeat the process. Next moving to my right arm, not even at the elbow, lower on the sensitive part where they had so much fun the first two times they repeat it. Yes there were two nurses. Then finally my right hand where they did it all over again. It took them over 30 minutes to get a vein!!!! I won't lie. Hurt like fuck!! You can see my right hand was already starting to swell...
They get the IV in me and start an Advil like drug that is long acting like 8 hours to help with the cramping later in case I have some...in case I have some...in case I have some... *shakes head*
I walk into the OR and have to put my legs in some medieval torture device to keep them apart for the lookie loo. Totally humiliating.
The doctor comes in and she looks like an extra for Grey's Anatomy. Unbelievable. Insult to injury. We do the ultrasound first, she spies my cysts. Looks a bit concerned so I start asking questions. What do you see? Every thing ok?
"You have a couple of large follicles."
"Yeah I know."
"How big were they?"
"Don't remember." heh "How big are they now?"
"About 1."
"Oh cool! They were over 4!"
"OH Good!! They are going down then! Good!"
Next we prep for the Hysteroscopy. Lemme break it down for ya. Essentially, they take a camera and a hose, shove it up your hoohoo, and turn your uterus into a water balloon and take pictures of the experience. Cramping? Yes. They were really good about it too. "No need for you to suffer. If your in pain tell us!"
"PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!"
"That a girl!" Nurse pushes more drugs.
Goooooood nurse! I forgive you for turning me into a human voodoo doll.
So looking around my uterus, all looks clean. Geeze, should be...
Back in the recovery room, they give me some apple juice and Graham crackers for being a good little pin cushion/water balloon and wait for my blood pressure and heart rate to go down before letting me go.
Conclusion? I have to go back Thursday for an ultrasound to make sure the cysts are still shrinking. I hope they are...I'm not convinced. But if that goes well, then it will be Stim Day 1.
OMG!! FIREFOX TOTALLY CRASHED ON ME AND I THOUGHT I LOST THE WHOLE POST!!! FUCKTARDS!
Anywho...instead of posting them here, I'll link you to where all the pics of my hands and stuff are if you want to see the swelling a bruising. My advice to you, if you ever have to do anything like this where you need an IV, and you can't eat or drink for a long time before hand, drink like a fish the day before so you stay hydrated and they can find your veins. The nurse told me that. Wish I'd have known that sooner...
IV Infamy
Saturday I was the last day of the birth control pills so somewhere around the 9th should be CD1 all over again. We shall see. Other than that, that's all I have to say!
Thanks again to everyone with their comments and tales, I really appreciated it.
Would I go camping after something like that again? HELL to the NO!!. I was a mess Friday. Got up decided I needed a do over, went back to bed and got up again. Saturday, the day we are supposed to go to the river, I wake up with a migraine!!! I can not thank "D" enough for sharing her drugs with me. If she hadn't I would have ended up in an ER for sure. I had NOTHING strong enough for it. God bless that woman!!!! And never go camping in a confined space with someone who snores! Well I'm just FULL of advice today!! Anyway. Don't do it. It's more trouble than it's worth. Your tired, achy and there is no real bathroom, or Internet connection. Bad deal. ;-)
Stay tuned for more exciting tales...
Ok, so the day starts ok. I'm all packed for my weekend camping trip, we pack the car and head to the RE's office. We're due for a 12:00 Check in for a 1:00pm procedure. We are about half way there at 11:00am when I get a call on my cell phone.
"This is the RE's office, may I speak to MWB (Mommie Wanna Be) please?"
"This is she..."
"Hi, we have you scheduled for an 11:00am procedure with a 10:00am check in and you're not here."
"No, you have me scheduled for a 1:00pm procedure with a 12 Noon check in."
"Where did you get that information?" I kid you NOT that is what the bitch said to me.
Getting up on my high horse, "On the paper work YOU gave me."
"I see. Can you give me a minute to check on that? Oh wait, can I just call you back?"
"Sure thing." I hang up the phone turn to the man and repeat the conversation. His face is blank. I know what he is thinking, How will this affect my camping trip? Next I pull up my computer and look at the scanned document. Yep 12 noon. Shortly there after, I get a call back.
"You're saying no one called you to reschedule your time?" Like I'm lying!!! You do understand you can't eat or drink at all before the procedure... wouldn't I want to move it up so I could eat before 3PM???!!!
"Yes. No one called me. I got no messages."
"Hmmm...OK. Well why don't you come in at the regularly scheduled time." Like she's doing me a favor!!!
"Yes that will be fine."
A little while later at the RE's office...
BFF, "So you never got a phone call?"
"No. Not a one. Not a message or anything."
"That's odd, because she said she spoke to you."
WHAT LYING BITCH SAID THAT!!!!! "No. She is mistaken. She must have talked with someone else. I mean doesn't it make sense I'd want to come in earlier for this? It's not like it's any inconvenience."
BFF looks sceptical, I'm not sure if it's she doesn't believe me or she has concerns about whoever the lying bitch is who SAID she talked to me. "Yeah it does."
"Maybe she just THINKS she talked to me because she misses me so much." I quip.
BFF laughs. Later I find out they are having a BBQ. Probably why they wanted to reschedule so badly. She must have lied to clear the books. To hell with the worried woman on an IVF schedule because she is infertile and may never have her own biological child. Bitch.
Later after the intake and instructions, I am in the preop room where they have to give me an IV. Well, boys and girls, lesson one, if you have not eaten or had anything to drink all that day, you are dehydrated and it makes finding a vein very, very, very, very hard. Yes I used four very's. Why? Because they tried to impale me FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES IN FOUR DIFFERENT PLACES!!! Good thing I'm not afraid of needles and am a good sport! They started out on my left hand, and didn't just poke and run, they had to wiggle it around in there awhile before they decided it wouldn't do. Then they moved to my left wrist where they repeat the process. Next moving to my right arm, not even at the elbow, lower on the sensitive part where they had so much fun the first two times they repeat it. Yes there were two nurses. Then finally my right hand where they did it all over again. It took them over 30 minutes to get a vein!!!! I won't lie. Hurt like fuck!! You can see my right hand was already starting to swell...
They get the IV in me and start an Advil like drug that is long acting like 8 hours to help with the cramping later in case I have some...in case I have some...in case I have some... *shakes head*
I walk into the OR and have to put my legs in some medieval torture device to keep them apart for the lookie loo. Totally humiliating.
The doctor comes in and she looks like an extra for Grey's Anatomy. Unbelievable. Insult to injury. We do the ultrasound first, she spies my cysts. Looks a bit concerned so I start asking questions. What do you see? Every thing ok?
"You have a couple of large follicles."
"Yeah I know."
"How big were they?"
"Don't remember." heh "How big are they now?"
"About 1."
"Oh cool! They were over 4!"
"OH Good!! They are going down then! Good!"
Next we prep for the Hysteroscopy. Lemme break it down for ya. Essentially, they take a camera and a hose, shove it up your hoohoo, and turn your uterus into a water balloon and take pictures of the experience. Cramping? Yes. They were really good about it too. "No need for you to suffer. If your in pain tell us!"
"PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!"
"That a girl!" Nurse pushes more drugs.
Goooooood nurse! I forgive you for turning me into a human voodoo doll.
So looking around my uterus, all looks clean. Geeze, should be...
Back in the recovery room, they give me some apple juice and Graham crackers for being a good little pin cushion/water balloon and wait for my blood pressure and heart rate to go down before letting me go.
Conclusion? I have to go back Thursday for an ultrasound to make sure the cysts are still shrinking. I hope they are...I'm not convinced. But if that goes well, then it will be Stim Day 1.
OMG!! FIREFOX TOTALLY CRASHED ON ME AND I THOUGHT I LOST THE WHOLE POST!!! FUCKTARDS!
Anywho...instead of posting them here, I'll link you to where all the pics of my hands and stuff are if you want to see the swelling a bruising. My advice to you, if you ever have to do anything like this where you need an IV, and you can't eat or drink for a long time before hand, drink like a fish the day before so you stay hydrated and they can find your veins. The nurse told me that. Wish I'd have known that sooner...
IV Infamy
Saturday I was the last day of the birth control pills so somewhere around the 9th should be CD1 all over again. We shall see. Other than that, that's all I have to say!
Thanks again to everyone with their comments and tales, I really appreciated it.
Would I go camping after something like that again? HELL to the NO!!. I was a mess Friday. Got up decided I needed a do over, went back to bed and got up again. Saturday, the day we are supposed to go to the river, I wake up with a migraine!!! I can not thank "D" enough for sharing her drugs with me. If she hadn't I would have ended up in an ER for sure. I had NOTHING strong enough for it. God bless that woman!!!! And never go camping in a confined space with someone who snores! Well I'm just FULL of advice today!! Anyway. Don't do it. It's more trouble than it's worth. Your tired, achy and there is no real bathroom, or Internet connection. Bad deal. ;-)
Stay tuned for more exciting tales...
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Cycle Day 10
I spent last night obsessing. No surprise there right. Why? Well, the reason I had a hysteroscopy the first time was because I had been spotting between cycles and didn't know why. They did an ultrasound and found my lining to be 11.4. It should have been less than 5. So they scheduled a D&C and hysteroscopy to see if there were polyps, fibroid, tumors and other unwanted items that would be causing the bleeding. Well tests and pictures came back clean so what could it be? She didn't know, thinks it's probably hormonal, check with my RE. So, after the D&C I didn't have a cycle for like 6 weeks or something so we induced with Provera. Worked like a charm. Then a month later I had my first natural cycle. I am just off this cycle but I am still spotting. Now, it doesn't take a genius to realize you can't drop in embryos in a uterus that is continuing to shed and cause spotting. So, I started researching and discovered an underactive thyroid would cause this. It would also cause some of the other issues I'm having. The good news is, it is so easily treated that it wouldn't cause an issue with the IVF. In fact it is one of the things they watch during the first weeks of pregnancy. The baby relies on the mother's thyroid, so it grows to sustain the baby until it develops it's own after about 10 weeks, then shrinks back down. So obviously, they have to keep that in check. I called the RE today and asked two things. 1. Did they do a full thyroid blood panel when they did the other blood tests. 2. Would it be OK to go camping after the hysteroscopy. Since there would be no running water or bathrooms. I am concerned about pain, what bleeding might occur and infections. I may still be able to go camping, but I probably won't get to float down the river. That's fine. I didn't get to last year either. They said the nurse would call me back in the next 24 hours. No call back today. I'll call them tomorrow morning and tell them WHEN the nurse calls me back TODAY, to do so on my cell.
Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
P.S.
I'm out of town for the next couple of days, so there may or may not be any posts. But, have no fear! I shall return. I know, I know. You can breathe now.
Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
P.S.
I'm out of town for the next couple of days, so there may or may not be any posts. But, have no fear! I shall return. I know, I know. You can breathe now.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Cycle Day 7
Before we get started, please notice the poll to the right. Please participate!
Mood:
Good, actually. Most of the symptoms are subsiding. I am pleased. The cyst was angry again today, I guess it is fighting to stick around. Either that or it is leaking...that would cause pain too. I don't know. We'll see. I didn't get a chance to call the Clinic today about the Hysteroscopy. I'll do that tomorrow. I'm still hoping not to have to do the procedure. So, still crossing my fingers.
If I may, and since it IS my blog, I will, I would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for the nice emails and cards. Your kind words mean the world to us and they are greatly appreciated.
Today's topic!
Baseline Ultrasounds also known as, "Couldn't you at least buy me dinner and drinks first?"
Baseline Ultrasound:
I guess most people's vision of an ultrasound is you lie on a table the ultrasound tech or doctor pulls out a crescent shaped doodad, squirts cold, clear goo on your tummy and runs said doodad over your tummy and says things like, "Oooooooo! Nice pancreas!" (honest I got that once) or, "Do you want to know what the sex is?" (the phrase I long to hear)
I tell you, how I long for those days, now I get Ultrasounds with this thing.
And THIS THING!
It's called a Transvaginal Ultrasound. Transvaginal ultrasound is a type of pelvic ultrasound. It is a method to look at a woman's reproductive organs, including the uterus, ovaries, cervix and vagina. Transvaginal means across or through the vagina.
You lie down on a table with your knees bent and feet in holders called stirrups. (shaking head) The health care provider will place a probe, called a transducer, into the vagina. The probe is covered with a condom and a gel. ( again with the head shaking) The probe sends out sound waves, which reflect off body structures. A computer receives these waves and uses them to create a picture. The doctor can immediately see the picture on a nearby TV monitor. (I've gotten pretty good at reading these ultrasounds. In fact, good enough I looked into Ultrasound Tech school. There are none near me. Sucks huh?)
The health care provider will move the probe within the area to see the pelvic organs. This test can be used during pregnancy.
In some cases, a special transvaginal ultrasound method called saline infusion sonography (SIS), also called sonohysterography or hysterosonography, may be needed to more clearly view the uterus. (Yeah, been there, done that, pffffffft.) This test requires saline (sterile salt water) to be placed into the uterus before the ultrasound. The saline helps outline any abnormal masses, so the doctor can get a better idea of their size. SIS is not done on pregnant women. (Uh, gee, ya think?)
So, they go in there, look around check out the uterine lining, fallopian tubes, ovaries and follicles. Looking at the follicles is the exciting part. Hmmm...maybe that will another post, all about the stimulants and follicles.
Ok. I guess that's it for today. Tomorrow's topic? I have no idea. Suggestions?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Cycle Day 6
Let's see...
√ Headache
√ Cramps
√ Angry Cyst
√ Fatigue
√ Stomach Ache
Good! Everything in order.
So, you all know what a hysteroscopy is?
Hysteroscopy:
Well class, basically, it is a diagnostic tool used to check out the the hotel (uterus). You know, make sure the accommodations are good, everything is in place, no unwanted visitors, all the amenities are in working condition. It's done with a hysteroscope, which is a thin telescope that is inserted through the front door (use your imagination) , past the lobby, (cervix) into the hotel room (uterus). Because the inside of the hotel room is a potential cavity, like a collapsed air dome, it is necessary to fill (distend) it with either a liquid or a gas (carbon dioxide) in order to see. How comfortable does that sound?
Usually unless a women has major medical problems, they do diagnostic hysteroscopy in office. They numb the cervix, they say this is easily done and rarely uncomfortable. I will have to take their word on that since the one I had, they knocked me the fuck out. Thank you Dr. P! They attach a video camera to the hysteroscope, so the patient can also see, and then insert the hysteroscope into the uterus under direct vision while using either saline or carbon dioxide to fill the uterus. Usually this causes mild cramping. ( Uh, ya think?!!) They then can look for fibroids, polyps, and other problems that may be causing bleeding. This often takes about a minute or two. The hysteroscope is removed. A small plastic tube may be used to take a sample of the lining of the uterus. That's it! Yeah, right... I thought about putting pictures of hysteroscopy that show some of the stuff they are looking for, but I realize not every one has the stomach for it. So I won't post those, or my own, even though my hotel room is clean as a whistle. Which, by the way who came up with that saying? Whistles seem very dirty to me...all that spit...yuck. So let's say...clean as can be! Woot! Yay my uterus!
I know what you're wondering. Isn't that gonna hurt WAY too much to be done in an office? They TELL ME, by being very gentle, and using local anesthesia, there is usually minimal discomfort during the procedure. AND, most women are able to get up and return to their normal activities immediately. They also say, if someone is very anxious, it is possible to give a short acting narcotic intravenously. This makes it very unlikely that the procedure will be uncomfortable. OH YEAH BABY!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!! Sign me up!
They hysteroscopy I had was an Operative Hysteroscopy. During operative hysteroscopy a type of hysteroscope is used that has channels in which it is possible to insert very thin instruments. These instruments can be used to remove polyps, to cut adhesions, and do other procedures. They had to clean out my hotel room. Apparently the staff went on vacation and it needed a Dusting and Cleaning (D&C). My lining was at like 11.4. (should be less than 5) Oooops. I am such an over achieving, pack rat.
So there you have it. Hysteroscopy. Love it! Live it! Embrace it! Unless of course you had one in March and don't feel you need another...then sod it!
√ Headache
√ Cramps
√ Angry Cyst
√ Fatigue
√ Stomach Ache
Good! Everything in order.
So, you all know what a hysteroscopy is?
Hysteroscopy:
Well class, basically, it is a diagnostic tool used to check out the the hotel (uterus). You know, make sure the accommodations are good, everything is in place, no unwanted visitors, all the amenities are in working condition. It's done with a hysteroscope, which is a thin telescope that is inserted through the front door (use your imagination) , past the lobby, (cervix) into the hotel room (uterus). Because the inside of the hotel room is a potential cavity, like a collapsed air dome, it is necessary to fill (distend) it with either a liquid or a gas (carbon dioxide) in order to see. How comfortable does that sound?
Usually unless a women has major medical problems, they do diagnostic hysteroscopy in office. They numb the cervix, they say this is easily done and rarely uncomfortable. I will have to take their word on that since the one I had, they knocked me the fuck out. Thank you Dr. P! They attach a video camera to the hysteroscope, so the patient can also see, and then insert the hysteroscope into the uterus under direct vision while using either saline or carbon dioxide to fill the uterus. Usually this causes mild cramping. ( Uh, ya think?!!) They then can look for fibroids, polyps, and other problems that may be causing bleeding. This often takes about a minute or two. The hysteroscope is removed. A small plastic tube may be used to take a sample of the lining of the uterus. That's it! Yeah, right... I thought about putting pictures of hysteroscopy that show some of the stuff they are looking for, but I realize not every one has the stomach for it. So I won't post those, or my own, even though my hotel room is clean as a whistle. Which, by the way who came up with that saying? Whistles seem very dirty to me...all that spit...yuck. So let's say...clean as can be! Woot! Yay my uterus!
I know what you're wondering. Isn't that gonna hurt WAY too much to be done in an office? They TELL ME, by being very gentle, and using local anesthesia, there is usually minimal discomfort during the procedure. AND, most women are able to get up and return to their normal activities immediately. They also say, if someone is very anxious, it is possible to give a short acting narcotic intravenously. This makes it very unlikely that the procedure will be uncomfortable. OH YEAH BABY!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!! Sign me up!
They hysteroscopy I had was an Operative Hysteroscopy. During operative hysteroscopy a type of hysteroscope is used that has channels in which it is possible to insert very thin instruments. These instruments can be used to remove polyps, to cut adhesions, and do other procedures. They had to clean out my hotel room. Apparently the staff went on vacation and it needed a Dusting and Cleaning (D&C). My lining was at like 11.4. (should be less than 5) Oooops. I am such an over achieving, pack rat.
So there you have it. Hysteroscopy. Love it! Live it! Embrace it! Unless of course you had one in March and don't feel you need another...then sod it!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Cycle Day 5
Today's excitement? Cramps, angry cyst and headaches. Trifecta! I guess getting off one drug and starting another gives you headaches. I don't want to whine and complain all the time, but this is my chance to vent, too bad for you! HA! Ah another day in the life...
Ok, other than that, I got nothing. I mean you wanna hear me talk about how I punched out a little, white pill, out of a ugly brown pack...again? Yeah me either.
I thought I'd give you some stats on infertility, like:
From HealingWithNutrition.com:
Infertility, which affects as many as 1 in 6 couples, is defined as the inability of a couple to conceive a child after one year of unprotected sex and is usually diagnosed through medical interviews and physical examinations of both partners. Infertility can be caused by a wide variety of factors. One-third of the time the problem lies with the male, one-third of the time it lies with the female, and one-third of the time infertility is caused by problems with both the male and the female. Sometimes either the sperm or the egg are unhealthy or there is some sort of mechanical obstruction keeping the sperm from fertilizing the egg. Once an egg is fertilized it must be able to become implanted in the uterus and then the embryo must be healthy and have the proper hormonal environment in which to develop properly. Metabolic imbalances, stress, increasing age, smoking, alcohol, exposure to toxic chemicals and drugs, and nutritional deficiencies or excesses can all negatively affect fertility.
Male Infertility
About six percent of males between the ages of fifteen and fifty struggle with infertility. Male infertility can be caused by a variety of problems. Some of the more common disorders are listed below.
Female Infertility
From the CDC 1995:
Ok, other than that, I got nothing. I mean you wanna hear me talk about how I punched out a little, white pill, out of a ugly brown pack...again? Yeah me either.
I thought I'd give you some stats on infertility, like:
From HealingWithNutrition.com:
Infertility, which affects as many as 1 in 6 couples, is defined as the inability of a couple to conceive a child after one year of unprotected sex and is usually diagnosed through medical interviews and physical examinations of both partners. Infertility can be caused by a wide variety of factors. One-third of the time the problem lies with the male, one-third of the time it lies with the female, and one-third of the time infertility is caused by problems with both the male and the female. Sometimes either the sperm or the egg are unhealthy or there is some sort of mechanical obstruction keeping the sperm from fertilizing the egg. Once an egg is fertilized it must be able to become implanted in the uterus and then the embryo must be healthy and have the proper hormonal environment in which to develop properly. Metabolic imbalances, stress, increasing age, smoking, alcohol, exposure to toxic chemicals and drugs, and nutritional deficiencies or excesses can all negatively affect fertility.
Male Infertility
About six percent of males between the ages of fifteen and fifty struggle with infertility. Male infertility can be caused by a variety of problems. Some of the more common disorders are listed below.
- Deficient Sperm Production: Ninety percent of male infertility is caused by the failure to produce enough sperm. Azzospermia occurs when no sperm is produced while olibospermia is diagnosed when few sperm are produced. Since most sperm are destroyed before ever reaching the egg, the more sperm there are the better the chances that one will successfully fertilize the egg. However, a low sperm count, or a total sperm count of less than 5 million/ml, does not necessarily mean that a man is infertile if the sperm that he does have are healthy, properly formed, and mobile. A low sperm count is determined by analyzing a semen sample. Over the last few decades, sperm count has been declining steadily. Many studies have linked this alarming trend to our modern high-fat, nutrient-deficient diet. Since sperm are highly vulnerable to free radical and oxidative damage, healthy sperm formation requires an adequate and ready supply of the proper nutrients and antioxidants. Other possible reasons for low sperm count include increased scrotal temperature (elevated temperatures hinder the maturation of sperm), varicoceles, environmental factors (pollution and exposure to heavy metals), and exposure to synthetic estrogens such as those found in birth control pills and in livestock.
- Varicocele: A varicose vein around one of the two spermatic cords can cause blood to pool in the testes; this, in turn, causes the temperature to increase in this area. Higher temperatures decrease sperm production and can lead to infertility. Fortunately, this problem can be fixed by surgery.
- Infections: Twenty-eight to seventy-one percent of infertile men show some signs of an infection of their reproductive organs. The presence of antisperm antibodies, which attack and destroy the sperm, are usually a good indicator that an infection is present. Of these infections, chlamydia trachomastis is the most common and the most serious. This disease is sexually transmitted and can damage the epididymis and the vas deferens in the male. Such infections are usually treated with an antibiotic.
- Ductal Obstruction: Blockage or damage to the spermatic tubes which is usually caused by a sexually transmitted disease, infections, or a congenital abnormality.
- Ejaculatory Dysfunction: These disorders are characterized by the failure to deliver sperm to the vagina. Impotence, or the inability to maintain an erection for intercourse, can be caused by a high fat diet (fatty deposits clog the arteries in the penis), by drugs used to treat high blood pressure, and by the nerve damage caused by diabetes.
- Other Disorders: Other disorders that can cause male infertility include abnormal development or damage of the testes (caused by endocrine disorders or inflammation), disorders of accessory glands, coital disorders, exposure to diethylstilbestrol (DES) a synthetic estrogen used in the 1950's and 1960's that caused cysts in the male reproductive tract, undescended testicles, and in rare cases genetic disorders such as a chromosomal abnormality.
Female Infertility
- Polycystic Ovarian Disease: This disease is the most common cause of ovulation disorders in women and is characterized by the presence of many minute cysts in the ovaries, by excess production of androgens, and by infrequent periods (obliomenorrhoea) or absent periods (amenorrhoea). The failure to ovulate is the most common cause of female infertility and can occur for no apparent reason or as the result of stress, hormonal imbalances, and various diseases and disorders of the reproductive system (some of which will be described below).
- Age: After the age of 30 the quality of your eggs begins to diminish, and it becomes harder to become pregnant and carry a fetus to term. The older a woman is the more likely it is that her eggs will have chromosomal abnormalities.
- Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: This infection of the reproductive tract can lead to blocked or damaged fallopian tubes and is usually caused by sexually transmitted disease, miscarriages, abortions, childbirth, or an intrauterine device.
- Ovulatory Dysfunction: This disorder occurs when a woman's ovaries are not producing eggs or are producing fewer eggs than usual because of age, hormonal imbalances, or other problems.
- Uterine Fibroids: These benign uterine tumors occur in 40% of women and can interfere with embryo implantation or fetal growth.
- Endometriosis: This disorder occurs when the tissue which lines the uterus (the endometrium) grows into growths or lesions outside of the uterus (usually on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and ligaments that support the uterus; the area between the vagina and the rectum; the outer surface of the uterus; the lining of the pelvic cavity; the bladder, bowel, vagina, cervix, vulva, and in abdominal surgical scars). In sync with the menstrual cycle, this tissue builds up, breaks down, and sheds each month; but unfortunately, it has no way of leaving the body. As a result it causes internal bleeding, breakdown of blood and tissue from the lesions, and most often inflammation which can cause pain, infertility, scar tissue formation, adhesions, and bowel problems. The cause of this disorder is unknown although there are many theories.
- Prenatal Exposure to Diethylstilbestrol (DES): DES is a synthetic estrogen given to some women who were deemed at risk for miscarriage during the 1950's and 1960's. Women whose mothers took DES while pregnant with them are at high risk for certain reproductive tract cancers and menstrual irregularities, as well as abnormally shaped uteruses that can lead to repeated miscarriages.
- Pelvic Adhesions: These are usually caused by surgery or infection, and occur when scar tissue forms between two or more internal organs. When this tissue affects the ovaries or fallopian tubes, infertility can result.
- Immunological Infertility: This disorder occurs when the woman's system produces antisperm antibodies which destroy her partner's sperm.
From the CDC 1995:
From the CDC 2005:
OK, OK. I'll stop. Until next time.
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