Cycle Day 22

Although, I'm really mostly posting about Cycle Day 17...AKA...HYSTEROSCOPY DAY!! *cue fanfare*

Ok, so the day starts ok.  I'm all packed for my weekend camping trip, we pack the car and head to the RE's office.  We're due for a 12:00 Check in for a 1:00pm procedure.  We are about half way there at 11:00am when I get a call on my cell phone.

"This is the RE's office, may I speak to MWB (Mommie Wanna Be) please?"

"This is she..."

"Hi, we have you scheduled for an 11:00am procedure with a 10:00am check in and you're not here."

"No, you have me scheduled for a 1:00pm procedure with a 12 Noon check in."

"Where did you get that information?"  I kid you NOT that is what the bitch said to me.

Getting up on my high horse, "On the paper work YOU gave me."

"I see.  Can you give me a minute to check on that?  Oh wait, can I just call you back?"

"Sure thing."  I hang up the phone turn to the man and repeat the conversation.  His face is blank.  I know what he is thinking, How will this affect my camping trip? Next I pull up my computer and look at the scanned document.  Yep 12 noon.  Shortly there after, I get a call back.

"You're saying no one called you to reschedule your time?"  Like I'm lying!!!  You do understand you can't eat or drink at all before the procedure... wouldn't I want to move it up so I could eat before 3PM???!!!

"Yes.  No one called me.  I got no messages."

"Hmmm...OK.  Well why don't you come in at the regularly scheduled time."  Like she's doing me a favor!!!

"Yes that will be fine."

A little while later at the RE's office...

BFF, "So you never got a phone call?"

"No.  Not a one.  Not a message or anything."

"That's odd, because she said she spoke to you."

WHAT LYING BITCH SAID THAT!!!!! "No.  She is mistaken.  She must have talked with someone else.  I mean doesn't it make sense I'd want to come in earlier for this?  It's not like it's any inconvenience."

BFF looks sceptical, I'm not sure if it's she doesn't believe me or she has concerns about whoever the lying bitch is who SAID she talked to me.  "Yeah it does."

"Maybe she just THINKS she talked to me because she misses me so much."  I quip.

BFF laughs.  Later I find out they are having a BBQ.  Probably why they wanted to reschedule so badly.  She must have lied to clear the books.  To hell with the worried woman on an IVF schedule because she is infertile and may never have her own biological child.  Bitch.

Later after the intake and instructions, I am in the preop room where they have to give me an IV.  Well, boys and girls, lesson one, if you have not eaten or had anything to drink all that day, you are dehydrated and it makes finding a vein very, very, very, very hard.  Yes I used four very's.  Why?  Because they tried to impale me FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES IN FOUR DIFFERENT PLACES!!!  Good thing I'm not afraid of needles and am a good sport!  They started out on my left hand, and didn't just poke and run, they had to wiggle it around in there awhile before they decided it wouldn't do.  Then they moved to my left wrist where they repeat the process.  Next moving to my right arm, not even at the elbow, lower on the sensitive part where they had so much fun the first two times they repeat it.  Yes there were two nurses.  Then finally my right hand where they did it all over again.  It took them over 30 minutes to get a vein!!!!  I won't lie.  Hurt like fuck!!  You can see my right hand was already starting to swell...



They get the IV in me and start an Advil like drug that is long acting like 8 hours to help with the cramping later in case I have some...in case I have some...in case I have some... *shakes head*

I walk into the OR and have to put my legs in some medieval torture device to keep them apart for the lookie loo.  Totally humiliating.

The doctor comes in and she looks like an extra for Grey's Anatomy.  Unbelievable.  Insult to injury.  We do the ultrasound first, she spies my cysts.  Looks a bit concerned so I start asking questions.  What do you see?  Every thing ok?

"You have a couple of large follicles."

"Yeah I know."

"How big were they?"

"Don't remember." heh "How big are they now?"

"About 1."

"Oh cool!  They were over 4!"

"OH Good!!  They are going down then!  Good!"

Next we prep for the Hysteroscopy.  Lemme break it down for ya.  Essentially, they take a camera and a hose, shove it up your hoohoo, and turn your uterus into a water balloon and take pictures of the experience.  Cramping?  Yes.  They were really good about it too.  "No need for you to suffer.  If your in pain tell us!"

"PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!"

"That a girl!"  Nurse pushes more drugs.

Goooooood nurse!  I forgive you for turning me into a human voodoo doll.

So looking around my uterus, all looks clean.  Geeze, should be...

Back in the recovery room, they give me some apple juice and Graham crackers for being a good little pin cushion/water balloon and wait for my blood pressure and heart rate to go down before letting me go.

Conclusion?  I have to go back Thursday for an ultrasound to make sure the cysts are still shrinking.  I hope they are...I'm not convinced.  But if that goes well, then it will be Stim Day 1.

OMG!!  FIREFOX TOTALLY CRASHED ON ME AND I THOUGHT I LOST THE WHOLE POST!!!  FUCKTARDS!

Anywho...instead of posting them here, I'll link you to where all the pics of my hands and stuff are if you want to see the swelling a bruising.  My advice to you, if you ever have to do anything like this where you need an IV, and you can't eat or drink for a long time before hand, drink like a fish the day before so you stay hydrated and they can find your veins.  The nurse told me that.  Wish I'd have known that sooner...

IV Infamy

Saturday I was the last day of the birth control pills so somewhere around the 9th should be CD1 all over again.  We shall see.  Other than that, that's all I have to say!

Thanks again to everyone with their comments and tales, I really appreciated it.

Would I go camping after something like that again?  HELL to the NO!!.  I was a mess Friday.  Got up decided I needed a do over, went back to bed and got up again.  Saturday, the day we are supposed to go to the river, I wake up with a migraine!!!  I can not thank "D" enough for sharing her drugs with me.  If she hadn't I would have ended up in an ER for sure.  I had NOTHING strong enough for it.  God bless that woman!!!!  And never go camping in a confined space with someone who snores!  Well I'm just FULL of advice today!!  Anyway.  Don't do it.  It's more trouble than it's worth.  Your tired, achy and there is no real bathroom, or Internet connection.  Bad deal.  ;-)

Stay tuned for more exciting tales...

Cycle Day 16

I'm Back!  Miss me?  No?  Too bad.  Well we were out of town for a couple of days and while we were out of town, kissin' and huggin' on family, one of the bastards gave me a sore throat so I haven't felt up to blogging.  But now, I'm back.  Just in time to go away for another couple of days.  LOL.

The nurse called me back and told me they did a TSH on me and everything was where it should be.  Honestly that bums me out because it would have explained so many things.  Oh well.  She also said that the dr had me on a pretty high dose of stimulants.  So, maybe that will fix...something.  She also said that camping shouldn't be a problem.  She was a little concerned about floating down the river after having to dilate my cervix, but it should go back to normal before then.  I also need to stay out of the sun while I am on the antibiotic (which I hope will help clear up the sore throat).

Monday, we went to the IVF Orientation and Injection Training class.  It was mostly been there done that.  Except I had some different meds, so I wanted to be clear on those.  SOMEONE, was impatient and didn't want to stay.  He felt like he'd been there done that, I don't have to give you any injections, why do I have to be here?   I said fine, leave.  I'll walk home.  He laughed.  I was not amused.  At.  All.  Other than that, the class went well.  We need to stop by the pharmacy that gave me my drugs to pick up some Q*Caps that they took out of the box.  "Well most people don't get training on it so we take it out."  I think she has been sampling some of products she's been selling.  So we'll leave a little earlier and do that before hand.

I have a Talisman or Amulet.  I will take it with me to all my procedures.  I'm really happy about that.  Those of you who know my other identity, I will blog about it there.  Anyway it's a carved stone horse.  It's beautiful, perfect and given with absolute love.  So I know it will help!

Tomorrow I go in for the Hysteroscopy.  Am I nervous?  No.  But, if it does turn operative, then camping is out.  Which will bug me because I just spent 90 minutes packing.  I could have been sleeping!!!  HAHAHAHAHAAHA.  Yes, I am bringing my computer with me camping.  So, I may blog while I'm there and post when I get back.    Which reminds me, I need to find some movies to bring with me...It is a VERY.  LONG.  DRIVE.  Like 7 hours if we hit no traffic.    Fortunately we are taking the Mystery Machine and there is a bed in the back (which is why we are taking it, no tents) so while I am all drugged up, I can be in the back snoozin'.  I love that idea.  I also have a couple of audio books as well as regular books.  I should be good.

I was thinking the other day that maybe creating this blog wasn't the best idea.  I mean what if this round doesn't work.  Then everyone will know rather than just the two of us.  Very scary.  Not that I don't love my friends and family, but...I'm not one to share pain.  So, if the worst happens, don't take it personally if I don't want to talk.

Also, thanks to everyone for your comments.  They made me feel a bunch better.  I just want to do everything right, you know...of course you do.  And those of you who have been through it or are going through it or are about to go through it, you totally feel me!  So, that's it until later.  Wish me luck tomorrow!

Cycle Day 10

I spent last night obsessing.  No surprise there right.  Why?  Well, the reason I had a hysteroscopy the first time was because I had been spotting between cycles and didn't know why.  They did an ultrasound and found my lining to be 11.4.  It should have been less than 5.  So they scheduled a D&C and hysteroscopy to see if there were polyps, fibroid, tumors and other unwanted items that would be causing the bleeding.  Well tests and pictures came back clean so what could it be?  She didn't know, thinks it's probably hormonal, check with my RE.  So, after the D&C I didn't have a cycle for like 6 weeks or something so we induced with Provera.  Worked like a charm.  Then a month later I had my first natural cycle.  I am just off this cycle but I am still spotting.  Now, it doesn't take a genius to realize you can't drop in embryos in a uterus that is continuing to shed and cause spotting.  So, I started researching and discovered an underactive thyroid would cause this.  It would also cause some of the other issues I'm having.  The good news is, it is so easily treated that it wouldn't cause an issue with the IVF.  In fact it is one of the things they watch during the first weeks of pregnancy.  The baby relies on the mother's thyroid, so it grows to sustain the baby until it develops it's own after about 10 weeks, then shrinks back down.   So obviously, they have to keep that in check.  I called the RE today and asked two things.  1.  Did they do a full thyroid blood panel when they did the other blood tests.  2.  Would it be OK to go camping after the hysteroscopy.  Since there would be no running water or bathrooms.  I am concerned about pain, what bleeding might occur and infections.  I may still be able to go camping, but I probably won't get to float down the river.  That's fine.  I didn't get to last year either.  They said the nurse would call me back in the next 24 hours.  No call back today.  I'll call them tomorrow morning and tell them WHEN the nurse calls me back TODAY, to do so on my cell.

Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?

P.S.

I'm out of town for the next couple of days, so there may or may not be any posts.  But, have no fear!  I shall return.  I know, I know.  You can breathe now.

Cycle Day 9

I have a couple things to talk about today that I forgot to mention yesterday.

First, I need to make another confession.  I'm apparently suffering from anxiety.  I guess that goes hand in hand with fear.  How did I come to this enlightening conclusion?  My hands hurt.  OK, stick with me...

My hands have been hurting.  Even with as much typing as I do, there is no reason for my hands to be feeling like this.  Honest.  I don't type THAT much!  Then, two nights in a row, I wake to me, gripping my blankets like it is a life line; the only thing coming between me and a long, painful drop onto sharp rocks covered in salt!  Why didn't I figure it out the FIRST night I woke up this way.  I forgot.  I've been tired lately, back off.  The second night I was like, "Ohhhhh..."  I'm not really sure how to deal with that. When I find myself doing that and I'm awake, (I SAID back off!!  I'm working through my denial!)  I just stop, stretch my hands, breathe, relax.  Not sure how to do that when you're sleeping...Any ideas?

Second

Yesterday we got a notice that my insurance had been canceled due to lack of payment in April.  WTF!!!  So we looked it up there was a payment in April and May.  There were other notices from them saying there was continuation of coverage blah, blah, blah...same old stuff...oh, that and the premium had gone up.  So I call them.  "Sorry ma'am, I don't see that your account has been cancelled.  Sorry for scaring the living shit out of you!  Is there anything else I can do?"

"No, thank you."  I hang up.  Can you believe that crap?  Like I'm not neurotic enough!!  You do remember the COST of IVF don't you???

THEN!!!!  They had the nerve to call me today to tell me my coverage had been reinstated.  WTF!!!  AGAIN!!  I stopped him in mid schpeal.  "Excuse me, you're telling me my coverage was cancelled and now is reinstated?"

"Yes ma'am.  Did I stutter?"

"No, but I do believe you're talking out of your ass.  Why the fuck did you cancel it, Ass talker?  May I call you Ass Talker?"

"Sure, call me A.T. for short!  I've been called worse.  But Um...I don't know why your coverage was canceled.  It doesn't say. But it's reinstated!  And the rates have gone up to..."

"Wait A.T.  Why the hell did the rates go up?"

Exasperated sigh, "Not becuase we were a bunch of dumbasses and cancelled your insurance for no reason.  The company just raised the rates since you are gonna be spending like $15,000 of our money.  They had to recoup it somehow.  So we are gonna make everyone pay."

"OK...  Will the new rates will be up on your site so I don't have to write down the number?"

"If you're that feeble, yes it will be up there."

"Whatever A.T., I hope you and your other Ass Talking clan, never find a parking space ever again!"

"Thank you, have a nice day."

"Bite me."

Third bit of information that came to me today.  The hysterosocopy... IS ON!!  Yes ladies and gentlemen, the film crew will be invading my uterus July 3, 2007.  Not sure of the release date, you know how it goes, editing, titles, music...all that Hollywood stuff.  I'm not sure of the pay, since I'm not in the union, but, I'd be happy with scale.  (Like I know what scale is...)  So, why are they doing it?  Well, apparently after reviewing the ultrasound, they saw a mucoid something or other on my lining.  I would go into it, but I'm really not sure what it means.  I don't know why it would be there.  Or really what it is.  I mean I kinda, sorta know what it is, but if you want to know what it is...here.  Trust me, there will be a lot of questions about this.

Anyway, I say to the nurse, "I'm ok with this.  I just wanted to know that there was a reason for the procedure, that you weren't just doing it becuase, it's like the military and you're just doing it becuase  you were orderd to. "

She found that funny.  Not sure why.

"Anyway.  I also just wanted to say, I know you don't like to knock people out doing this procedure in office.  The last time I had this done they did knock me out, by the way.  But I just want you to know I'm very anxious about this.  I know it is not a comfortable procedure."

Again she laughed.  Apparently, I'm hilarious and need to get a stand up job.

"So, I will show up wearing my big girl panties, but I just want everyone involved to know, I am anxious about this."

More laughter, "Ok.  Don't worry .  It will be fine."

I guess she gets this a lot and is not phased, which, on some level is comforting.  Oh well, I guess we'll see.

So, next Mondy we go do the IVF Orientation and Injection Training 12.45-4.00.  Gawd!  Oh, and we are supposed to bring two oranges to the injection training.  This cracks me up.  My hope is that they make us peel the orange before we start sticking it with needles.  I mean, if anyone has skin that resembles an orange, they really need to be seeing a completely different doctor.   Then we go back up on Thursday for the filming, check in 12.00 noon!  I'm ready for my close up!!